Hari Raya 2022 2 Jokes

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An American businessman came to Malaysia on a business trip but he does not fancy Malaysian food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food. 

The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza. 

Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza. 

The businessman takes the pizza and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?" 

The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only!"


Q: What is the heaviest mee?

A: Wan Ton Mee!


A soldier in Malaysia saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their possessions. 

The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the loaded bicycle alone. The man replied, "TRADITION". 

Two weeks later, he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle. The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said "LAND MINES!"


Q: Can February march?

A: Certainly not, but April may!


As a Malaysian, I thought that our Prime Minister would be crowned the worst political leader of the century.

But the American have finally decided to give us their Trump card!


Once upon a time, three people were stranded out at sea - A Japanese, a Malaysian and an Indonesian. The boat started leaking and if they do not act fast, they would all die. 

The Japanese (as usual) was the first to take the initiative. He threw all his Japanese gizmo - CD player, hi-fi, radio etc. off the boat. 

The Malaysian and the Indonesian looked at him in disbelief. The Japanese said, "Don't worry.. still got a lot more in my country.. BANZAIIIEE!" 

But the boat was still sinking. 

The Indonesian without hesitation started throwing aboard all his baju batik, kain batik, keretek, etc., etc. He comforted the other two, "Don't worry.. still have a lot more in my country, paknya". 

But still the boat was sinking. The Japanese and the Indonesian looked at the Malaysian. 

Suddenly, without any hesitation and with stride, the Malaysian threw the Indonesian overboard. The poor guy couldn't swim and drowned. The Japanese was shocked. 

Said the Malaysian, "Don't worry... still got a lot more in MY country!!!".


Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: You can see right through them!


Once there was a man who came from Malaysia to America. He couldn't speak English so he went to the choir and learned how to say "Me, me, me, me, me, me." 
Then he went to the store and saw a little girl say "He stole my dolly" 

And on his way home he went to get meat from the butcher and learned how to say "Big butcher knife, big butcher knife." 

Then he went home and watched an air freshener commercial and learned how to say "Plug it in, Plug it in." 

Then he went to the store and there was a murder. the policeman asked, "Who killed this man?" 

The foreigner said "Me, me, me, me, me, me, me." 

The policeman said "Why did you kill him?" 

And the man said "He stole my dolly." 

The policeman said "What did you kill him with?" 

The man said "Big butcher knife, big butcher knife." 

Then they took him to jail and the judge sentenced him to death. 

The policeman said "any last words?" And the foreigner said "Plug it in, plug it in!"


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