So Everyone Must Believe In Otherwise You Go To Jail Analysing A Higher Grade Version By Rastom A Rahman

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For those of you who cannot read the Arabic script I will explain shortly what is * هڠ تواه‎ * . Please bear with me.
Commenting upon A HIGHER GRADE VERSION BY Rastom A Rahman
I received the following brief but 'down to the brass tacks' piece of rumination by Rastom A Rahman. But who is Nadzru Azhari?  Lets read it first.
A HIGHER GRADE VERSION BY Rastom A Rahman

Nadzru Azhari The Mousedeerhood of Ablutionism: A Short Satirical Essay with s sprinkle of falsafah by a Lament Man in a Chair That Isn’t from Mydin

This morning, I found myself in a chair—nay, a chaise!—of such ergonomic grace that I momentarily forgot I was a lament man relegated to the invalid section of the mosque. I was in Thailand, where the khutbah was delivered in Arabic and Thai, and my ears were stirred—not by the chilling air-conditioning, but by ideas. Yes, actual ideas, floating through the prayer hall like rebellious dandelions in a field of bureaucratic turf.

Imam Shafi’e, bless his weathered bones, did his best. But it was his son—the one with the Al-Azhar scroll and the spine to use it—who usually delivered khutbahs that did not just remind us of the fire of faith, but reignite it. Alas, today the son was absent, probably detained somewhere by the Committee for the Preservation of Dry, Ritualistic Sermons (Central Malaysian Chapter).

Back home, across the Peninsula, khutbahs are more consistent. By “consistent,” of course, I mean consistently lifeless. One could replace the khatib with an IKEA self-assembly robot and no one would notice, provided it came with a Bluetooth speaker and a skullcap. These khutbahs are read—not delivered—with the passion of a parking ticket. And should any young preacher deviate from the sacred script of Sanitised Sermonry™️, he is swiftly returned to the path of rectitude and ritual with the gentle firmness of a sedated librarian.

This, dear reader, is the mousedeerhood of Ablutionism.

The term requires explanation, unless you too have been thinking whilst thunking. The mousedeer—sang kancil, that mythic Malaysian mammal of mediocre courage—has long symbolised the clever weakling. In schoolbooks, he tricks crocodiles. In reality, he avoids conflict. He calculates survival, never revolution. Pair him with “Ablutionism”—the obsessive compulsive religiosity that reduces Islam to a sequence of rinses and recitations—and you get a peculiar species of preacher: clean, correct, and utterly unthreatening.

These are men who fear God less than they fear the mosque committee. Who would rather quote a Hadith about foot washing than confront the filth of political hypocrisy. Who view Islam not as a fire to warm the oppressed, but as a handbook for correct postures.

They are not lions of the pulpit, but clerical kancils—quick to bow, quicker to run, and always within the safe confines of the ritual forest.

And so the khutbah becomes a nap. The congregation waits politely to go to Meroz for cappuccino, where at least the coffee burns with more intensity than the sermon.

Meanwhile, in the Thai mosque, a young man with a degree and a conscience reminds us that Islam is not just about wudu’, but about wujud—existence with meaning.

Back in Malaysia, our state-sanctioned imams continue to rinse their hands in ritual purity, while the country sinks ever deeper into moral mildew.

Amen, and pass the ablution jug.
Ends. 
My Comments: 
Anyone knows Rastom A Rahman? 
Thank you for the brief. 
Lets talk about  * هڠ تواه‎ *. I will explain shortly what is * هڠ تواه‎ * . Please bear with me.Was * هڠ تواه‎ * a myth or reality?
Was it history or was it just another flying horse story?
There is no real evidence at all. But lets hypothesize. Lets say that it is too late. Lets say it is too late to question about * هڠ تواه‎ *. But just how late is the meaning of 'it is too late' ?It is so late that any questions about * هڠ تواه‎ * will be immediately challenged by a 'Why do you want to question anything about  * هڠ تواه‎ * at all?' That is how late it has become. You just do not and cannot question anything about * هڠ تواه‎ *It  is just not done at all.It is too late. 
The myths about  * هڠ تواه‎ * are about 400 years old. The oldest European manuscripts about * هڠ تواه‎ *  are about 200 years old. So within a time frame of only about 200 - 400 years almost an encyclopaedia of mythology, fables and tales have been  created about  * هڠ تواه‎ *.  
And it was also enough time for them to create Jalan  * هڠ تواه‎ *, Dewan * هڠ تواه‎ *, Jabatan Pengajian * هڠ تواه‎ * etc.
Imagine if   * هڠ تواه‎ * had had a longer history. 
Say about 1,400 years. 
In that amount of time they would have certainly created: an International * هڠ تواه‎ * UniversityInternational Institute of * هڠ تواه‎ ThoughtInstitut Kefahaman * هڠ تواه‎ * Jabatan Kemajuan * هڠ تواه‎ * Jabatan * هڠ تواه‎* SelangorJabatan * هڠ تواه‎ * Negeri Sembilan etc. There could even be a separate * هڠ تواه‎ *  banking system.  They would also have created a special * هڠ تواه‎ * expert or faqih in every State. Every State would have their own Pejabat Faqih * هڠ تواه‎ * . If anyone disagreed or opposed a gazetted opinion about * هڠ تواه‎ * issued by the Pejabat Faqih * هڠ تواه‎ * then that person could be prosecuted.  
If you questioned anything about * هڠ تواه‎ *, you could be hit with 3,5,6. What is 3.5.6? Three years jail, fined RM5,000 and/or be given six strokes of the rotan. That is the minimum punishment for not believing in * هڠ تواه‎ *. 
So will you in your right mind stand up and say that * هڠ تواه‎ * was a myth?So will you in your right mind stand up and say that * هڠ تواه‎ * did not exist etc.  No you will not. You will be sent to jail. You will be hit with 3,5,6.So everyone MUST believe in * هڠ تواه‎ *. 
This is just a hypothetical rumination ok. Imagine that it does not stop there. Imagine that every Saturday of the week at 5am you have to go to the Dewan * هڠ تواه‎ * and sit for about one hour through a * هڠ تواه‎ * Commemoration congregation. If you miss attending THREE such congregations in a row, you can be hit with 3,5,6 again.  

So over time, everybody must believe in * هڠ تواه‎ *. You have no choice. It is a requirement of the law. If you question, dispute, disagree or reject belief in * هڠ تواه‎ * you can go to jail. Ok dear reader thank you for your patience. 
* هڠ تواه‎ *   refers to Hang Tuah, the mythical Malay warrior. 
Written in Jawi script. If you would like to, you can re-read the post again. For clarity. 
CONCLUSION:
So Hang Tuah is a myth. A fairly recent myth. It took only 200 - 400 years for the entire encyclopaedia of mythology and fables about Hang Tuah to be crafted.
As I said if they had more time, say 1,400 years, then they would have created even more myths about Hang Tuah. Who knows it can still happen. 
But it does not need another thousand years to complete the mythology. The myths can be expedited. Just make it illegal and a crime to question the "orthodox" beliefs about Hang Tuah. If anyone doubts or questions about Hang Tuah then send them to jail.
In this way I can assure you that within a very short time frame, a broad and deep consensus of opinions will coagulate around Hang Tuah.  Hang Tuah will not be a myth anymore. Hang Tuah will become fact - historical fact. Minus real historical evidence of course but so what? When everyone has no choice but to accept the myths, then they become facts. New facts have been manufactured.
And there is only one method to safeguard these myths-turned-into-facts. Jail anyone who disputes them.  Or worse, kill them. But what does this really mean? 
It means that without the threat of painful punishment
without the threat of sending doubters to prison
without the threat of killing people who reject 
then the "historical facts" surrounding Hang Tuah will crumble like roti kapai. 
Hang Tuah will revert to being a myth.All those: 
International * هڠ تواه‎ * UniversityInternational Institute of * هڠ تواه‎ ThoughtInstitut Kefahaman * هڠ تواه‎ * Jabatan Kemajuan * هڠ تواه‎ * Jabatan * هڠ تواه‎* SelangorJabatan * هڠ تواه‎ * Negeri Sembilan etc. The separate * هڠ تواه‎ *  banking system.  The special Pejabat Faqih * هڠ تواه‎ * would all just disappear.
So arent you glad that there are no jail terms, no death sentences, no prosecutions or persecutions if you disputed or did not believe the fables and fairy tales about Hang Tuah? 
The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT
By Syed Akbar Ali 

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