Screw You The New Super Genius Political Strategy For Dr M Dap Bersatu Ph Pas

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 First some wit and wisdom from George Carlin:
 




Then lets look at this photo collage here. All these people in this photo collage, at one time or another in their lives, they have tried to screw each other. And once in a while they have succeeded. (Though not enough to the extent that I would have liked. In my humble opinion these fellows dont really know how to screw. If you want to screw someone, you must screw them all the way, until you go past the loco-shed behind the Sentul railyard. KTM fellows will know the place.)





 
But look at the photo-collage again. These guys are all happy and laughing, hugging and mugging each other. Hugging, laughing, holding hands and holding dont know what else. Obviously they were all happy with each other.
Here is the creepy part - in these pictures they were not trying to screw each other.  In these pictures they were all working with each other. They were cooperating with each other. This is an absolutely proven fact. These are real pictures, they are not fake. Real pictures dont lie and a real picture speaks a thousand words.

You can see Dr Mahathir working with PAS, Bersatu working with PKR/PH, DAP with Bersatu, DAP with PAS, DAP with PKR and PAS. Semua boleh. All sorts of combinations. Depan, belakang, atas, bawah semua boleh.
So it is proven - all these mutton heads can work with each other. So I have a suggestion for Dr Mahathir, the DAP, PH, PAS, PN and so on.
Why fight against each other? 
You see ALL OF YOU have another huge common advantage : YOU DONT CARE FOR THE PEOPLE. ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOURSELVES, YOUR PROJECTS AND CONTRACTS. 
That is why ALL OF YOU can work with ALL OF YOU at some point or another. You have no such thing as IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES IN PRINCIPLES, you have no such thing as NON NEGOTIABLE POLITICAL STRUGGLES. NOTHING. NOTHING IS WRITTEN IN STONE FOR YOU.
Depan, belakang, atas, bawah semua boleh. 
The only thing that matters is your own survival. Everything else can 'kau tim'.
Look at the photo collage again. Nowhere in those pictures can you see the peoples' interest being put in front. Tak ada. It is all your survival first.
So here is my suggestion. There is no need for all of you to fight. Try this out for a change. There are 222 Parliamentary seats. Divide them by seven or say by six. So 31 seats or 37 seats. Then give these 31 to 37 seats each among yourselves. Or something close. But not one party or group should have more than 31 to 37 seats.
Then when the elections come around,  ONLY ONE party fields a candidate in any one particular Parliamentary seat. There are no other candidates from any other party. (If there are Independent candidates have them a--ested or harrassed or something). So on Nomination Day, Hari Penamaan Calon, the single candidate from only one party will be declared the winner by default. Also known as a walkover win. Then on Election Day there will be no more voting necessary as the single candidate has already won.
So imagine this happening throughout the 222 Parliamentary seats. On Election Day there will be no need for voting anymore. I will not have to wake up early, to try to beat Dato Ameer Ali Mydin for earliest voter at Lembah Pantai etc.





Then after that you can appoint one of you donkeys as the prime minister. You can even take turns, and change the PM every six months, or change the PM every 12 months or some shit like that.
Because it will not make any difference for the people mah. 
The people will still get screwed. 
Nothing much will change for the people. 
Same shit in different cans. Thats all. 
Tong dia lain, taik dia sama.
Then you can appoint another idiot as the minister who can threaten to 'send a radio car to your house, if you talk too much'.
Or  "if you ask about the quotas you better watch out, you will be labelled an extremist".

Once that is done you can then go about pursuing your real passions : the tunnel project goes to this fellow, the high speed project goes to that group, the renewable energy contract is for these people, I will appoint my daughter here, my son is a genuine businessman what is wrong if the gomen bails him out, bla bla bla. You know things like that.

But to all the politicians and the political parties think carefully about my suggestion. It is not too far fetched. It will really save me and millions of voters a lot of hassle and time to wake up early in the morning and go and queue up to vote. Only to get screwed again and again. 
Here is a final word:



The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.By Syed Akbar Ali 

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