Are Malay Couples Rushing To Tie The Knot In Just 2 3 Meetings When 2 3 Years Sounds More Logical

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SUPPOSED to be a tie-up for life, marriage comes with its own baggage that includes the in-laws as well as communal expectations.
Hence, wouldn’t it be better if couples did the due diligence instead of making plans for nuptials after just a handful of meetings?

This was the assertion by current affairs observer Ooi Beng Cheang in a post on X who noted that it was common in Malay culture for single men and women to be talking about marriage “after just two to three meetings”.
The financial literacy advocate pointed out that marriage goes beyond personal ties as it involved marrying into a family and a community.
The self-described Malaysian storyteller also contended that while it may be easier when the recommendation comes from trusted circle of family or friends, it is a wholly different proposition if it involved something modern but increasingly prevalent phenomenon of online dating.

Surely two to three dates is not enough to commit towards nuptials, he asked.

The poster helpfully shared a link to the Federal Territory Mufti’s office website which contained guidelines on get-to-know-you sessions. He did say that he found the whole concept rather intimidating – much like a job interview with family members sitting in.

Delving into his area of expertise, the finfluencer devised a guide for those planning on nuptials.
The plan is structured to cover areas such as intentions, background checks, finances, career and future together. It was advised that couples spend at least a week in between each meeting to properly digest the info shared.

The guide is designed to evaluate if potential spouses’ lives, goals and values align.

One commenter said such marriage after just two three meets are rare these days, claiming that most will date between “two to five years” before taking the plunge.

The poster, though, highlighted online examples suggesting that such practice was still common even among educated folk. It also highlights the many issues that can crop up from marriages resulting from such brief encounters.

One commenter though highlighted that in Islam, “test drives” were not permitted. He believed that a few months of taaruf (get-to-know-you) sessions would be sufficient to ascertain the intentions of the future spouse.

Some commenters also pointed out that it wasn’t so much Malay culture as it is Islamic practice.

The threat of khalwat (close proximity) among Muslim couples was also cited as a reason why many don’t wait too long before tying the knot.

There were plenty of comments detailing personal or friends’ and relatives’ experiences, some involving long courtships, others almost fleeting. There were certainly many that claimed happy endings despite only dating briefly.
Suffice to say – whether it be a brief or elongated courtship –  due diligence is a must to avoid the many pitfalls that await married couples.
There are no guarantees with marriage but the less unexpected surprises there, the better. –  Focus Malaysia

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