New Word For M Sians Tiong

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I have every reason to believe the word “tiong” will soon enter the Malay lexicon courtesy of our tortured politics.
Further, I predict a brilliant future for its use and acceptance among all Malaysians in the same way as other recently borrowed Chinese words.
Words like “chin-chai” (anything is fine) and “chun chun” (great, excellent). Or “ngam ngam” (just nice), “ma chai” (sycophant) and “ta pau” (take away).
Or the wonderfully versatile “kau kau”, used in describing someone giving the other a good piece of their mind or ordering a strong cup of coffee as in, respectively: “Saya taruh dia kau kau” (I gave him a piece of my mind) or “Uncle, satu kopi kau kau” (One strong cup of coffee, uncle).
“Kau kau” comes into its own when describing things taken to the extreme, like in “dia berasuah kau kau” ( he is very corrupt) or “saya benci dia kau kau” (I loathe him).
I’m not a linguist, but I suspect that “kau kau” is a replacement for the older word “kuat” used in the previous hundred years, as in “Dia kuat minum” (he drinks a lot) or “dia kuat rokok” (he smokes a lot) etc, etc.
The mighty ‘kow thim’
However, when it comes to ubiquitousness and sheer brazenness, nothing comes close to “kow thim” (done deal).
The mighty “kow thim”! Some translate it as “settled”, but it’s much more than that. Settle is to make good, but “kow thim” ensures there is no blowback. It’s the ultimate art of the deal. Move over, Donald Trump!
“Kow thim” ties up loose ends nicely without requiring all parties to sign off on the dotted line. It has that rare inclusiveness that crooked politicians and corrupt officials truly appreciate.
When you “kow thim”, there is little risk of being caught with your pants down - whatever your creed or colour or politics.
It is used upfront, behind our backs, in the corridors of power, in politics, in and outside police stations, banks, immigration counters, customs offices and even the courts.
It is the preferred word of choice among traffic offenders and loan sharks, not to speak of petty lawbreakers and thieves.
Powerful lawbreakers “kow thim” their cases by returning the money they stole by order of the courts and just as quickly go back to holding political office or taking a break to enjoy their unreturned ill-got gains, which is another way of saying, they are now living off the fat of the land, scot-free.
Even a whole elected government can be “kow thim-ed” as in the case of the infamous Sheraton Move.
Imagine disgruntled politicians turned conspirators sitting around a table in a hotel and saying with one voice: “We must ‘kow thim’ this government that’s preventing us from putting our hands in the till”.
And in a country that does not care a hoot for Rene Descartes’, “I think, therefore I am”, that vacancy of the mind has now been filled by “I ‘kow thim’, therefore I am!”.
GDP under ‘kow thim’ culture
At last count, as much as 25 percent of our gross domestic product (GDP) has been “kow thim-ed” and is now parked in an offshore account under a proxy, a “ma chai”.
Given its widespread use and acceptance, the full panoply of prefixes and suffixes has been attached to it in forming sentences like, “Perkara itu telah ‘dikautimkan’ di Putrajaya” (It has been settled in Putrajaya).
Or the more common, “Ada orang dalaman yang boleh kowthimkan masalah awak” (there is an insider who can resolve your problems). However, for obvious reasons, there is no “terkowthim.”
But forget “kow thim” awhile. The time for the word “tiong” to rise and shine has come!
What does it mean? “Tiong” means to be scolded or picked on for all the wrong reasons by your boss or superior, or spouse, despite being a good soul like Tourism, Culture and Arts Minister Tiong King Sing.
How to use ‘tiong’
Let’s say your wife wears the pants in your house despite you bringing in the bacon or rendang for the last 30 years. And let’s say you forgot to shut the fridge door, making her scold you.
Later in the evening, you complain to your drinking buddies: “Pagi tadi saya ditiong oleh isteri kerana silap kecil”. (This morning, I got tionged by my wife for a small mistake).
Or to give another example… like in all our GLCs where Enche Pareto is alive and well (the Italian fellow died a long time ago), you belong to the 20 percent that does the work while the 80 percent shake their legs.
However, your boss keeps picking on you. You can then say, “Tanpa apa-apa sebab, boss yang bodoh betul itu bertiong saya dimesyuarat bulanan” (The imbecilic boss tionged me during the monthly meeting for no reason).
With the right suffixes and prefixes, the possibilities are deliciously endless, and I can’t wait to see these in daily use – “bertiong”, “ditiongkan”, “tertiong”, “tiongan”, “si-petiong”, “mentiong”, “pertiong”, and even “pertiongan”.
Who cares if the minister who gave us this word still worships the spirit of the long-dead Signore Pareto!
I know the sceptics and language purists will pooh-pooh all this and say there is not a chance in hell “tiong” will get past our irrational politicians, who will do everything in their power to kill this word filled with so much aspiration and promise.
History of the word chauvinism
Surely, they must know many words started life masquerading as a person. Like the word chauvinism.
Here’s the story: a young Nicolas Chauvin fought in the Napoleonic Wars and was badly wounded. Boarded out of the army, he was paid a meagre pension.
However, he remained a fanatical Bonapartist (follower of French leader Napoleon Bonaparte), which spawned the word chauvinism, at first derisively.
They could have called him a little Napoleon, but unfortunately, he wasn’t a civil servant.
Chauvinism expanded from its original use to include fanatical devotion to any group or cause to which one belongs, especially when such partisanship includes prejudice against or hostility towards others.
For chauvinistic people, white can become black and good, evil, to the extent that chauvinism is often confused with nationalism. Blame it on the political climate.
Any wonder that chauvinism is now well-entrenched in the Malay lexicon in its more popular adjective form, “chauvinistik?”
If the case has been made out for accepting “chauvinistik”, why reject “tiong”, although it sounds similar to Tun, tiang, and Tan Sri?
Besides, you must surely agree it has a certain musical quality, reminding us of a well-struck Chinese gong or brass bowl.
But whatever, I will remain ever hopeful for this new word. I tend to believe it will eventually even enter the English language through Malay.
As the more religious-minded among us will say, “Though I walk through a minefield of rabid racists and farcical fanatics, I fear no ‘tiong’”. - Mkini
MURALE PILLAI is a former GLC employee. He runs a logistics company.
The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.

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