General Service Tax And The Banana Republic Of Confusion

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There once was a humble tax called SST, quietly sipping kopi at the edge of the national ledger, bothering no one but the occasional air-conditioned car wash and the odd luxury spa with Himalayan goat milk facials. It lived a simple life, collecting a few ringgits here and there, wearing worn-out rubber slippers, humming the old PETRONAS ads under its breath.
Then, one fine fiscal morning, SST was summoned for duty.
It got a haircut, polished its boots, and was abruptly promoted not to Captain, not to Colonel, but to General. Yes, General Service Tax. No military experience, no battlefield strategy, just a shiny new acronym and a commanding presence over everything from your Norwegian salmon to your sister’s facial package.
Meanwhile, in a parallel universe somewhere near Putrajaya, our dear PMX, the People’s Mix Tape of Mahathirism and Reformasi dreams, emerged from his office with a stack of policy notes and zero understanding of what GST actually is. He looked at the acronym and, in a moment of dazzling linguistic improv, declared it “General Tax.” Not Goods and Services Tax. Not even Government-sanctioned Spending Trouble. Just… “general.” Like General Hospital. Or General Chicken.
According to him, GST is just a regular, democratic, rakyat friendly tax. A tax for everyone. A general tax. Like salt. Or disappointment.
He then pivoted to SST, claiming bless his economically misinformed heart that it’s a tax on imports. Somewhere, a retired Customs officer coughed blood into his teh tarik.
Now, in a less comical reality, we’d call this a “slip of the tongue.” But in Malaysia, we call this “governing.”
Let’s recap:
Salmon, avocado, king crabs now symbols of bourgeois sin.
Imported apples and mandarin oranges temporarily exonerated after the Cabinet was reminded that even the poor get scurvy.
And bananas? Well, imported bananas. Not Lumut bananas. But if you’re the average Malaysian, you’re probably already peeling your wallet open in terror.
PMX says if you’re rich enough to eat avocados, you should be taxed more. But avocado toast was never the problem. The problem is we’ve got a Finance Minister who treats fiscal policy like karaoke night: improvise the lyrics, hope no one notices, and if they do shrug, smile, and ask them to attend a workshop.
Now the rakyat are told to “go for courses” to understand the taxes they never voted for. Because nothing says governance like outsourcing public understanding to PowerPoint slides and hotel buffet seminars.
And let’s not forget the broader economic moves in this Cili Sauce Tightening Exercise:
• Petrol subsidies? Gone soon.
• Electricity tariffs? Higher than your last TNB bill.
• Cooking gas for warungs? Hold your sambal.
• Renting a shoplot? That’s taxed too, boss.
Soon, breathing near a durian will incur a fragrance levy.
But the pièce de résistance is this: he thinks this is clarity. That mispronouncing GST is a minor hiccup. That confusing SST with “Sikit-Sikit Tax” is harmless. That economic pain is fine as long as it’s followed by a smile and a folksy speech in Lumut.
Dear Malaysians, this is not leadership. This is a man explaining the contents of a durian while blindfolded, allergic, and possibly holding a mango.
So here we are. The rakyat tightening belts they never loosened. Paying more for less. Watching the taxman become a General while the truth is demoted to Corporal.
But hey at least we’re not being taxed for breathing yet.
Then again… it’s only July.
Source : Hisham Badrul Hashim
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