Wanting To Kill Yourself But Not Wanting To Kill Yourself


This is such a great topic and I've avoided it for too long. But a comment on an old post reminded me that you have to hear the other side of suicidal ideation. This is sanitized a bit. The bold font is mine.


I am a victim of a violent crime by a person in my family. Now I am planning on being a psychologist/counselor. I know that it will be difficult but I want to be there for those who have gone through this situation and I want to let them know that they don't have to let this ruin their lives. Depression is one out of many symptoms, I know, but is it normal to have the desire to kill yourself every time you remember your past? I have had trust issues because of this, so I sympathize with all the victims out there and only wish that I could bring forth justice in all their lives.
I'm not sure where, "Just shoot me," entered my particular vernacular. Some of us say this then put a cocked index finger to one ear, click, pretend to off ourselves, and everyone laughs.

Anyway, I've been saying it a lot when I hear about things in my personal life that leave me speechless, make me shake my head, as in, "What now? What next?" When I'm frustrated with people.

What's interesting about, "Just shoot me" is that the person who says it obviously doesn't mean it, is just signaling frustration with life's impossibilities. We can't control most of it, certainly not the behavior of other people. So we laugh it up, say, Shoot me.

I give up.

Which implies that someone else wins, but it's okay. We concede the victory with relief. Let it go.

I think this happens on a much deeper psychological level in trauma victims. If a person suffers a trauma, even secondary trauma (hears about someone's trauma and feels the pain), it can trigger suicidal wishes and fears.

Immediately after a trauma or during the trauma, the thought, I would be better off dead is seeded in some neuropathway. Then you get the emotion, the fear, the terror, or it's there first, doesn't matter. But the reasoning, the thought processing about the event becomes unconscious, and that happens rather quickly. All that remains for eternity is the conclusion, I want to die. Sort of stuck like a broken record. You can turn off the juice, but someone keeps turning it on when you least expect it.

And the fears remain, associated with the conclusion, better off dead. You never wanted to die, you never wanted to be raped, to use a common example, or sexually harassed, perhaps, but the thought and the fear originated at the same time, under heightened arousal, and became inextricably linked in the brain.

Our brains are simply out of control. You would think they would get a grip.

But no. Get a bad thought, link it with a negative event, and there's your negative thought, warmed over easy again and again with the thought of the event. And then, the evolved negative emotion, the depression that lingers beyond fear. Fear may have burnt itself out. Maybe not. Just shoot me.

If you grow up with someone who is suicidal you are literally fed this thought with every suicidal threat, wish. You could be a happy go lucky kid, someone with a fairly happy little neurotransmitter, and you listen to the gloym and doym and you think, Oh, for crying out loud. You don't get a corner on suicidal ideation, I have my own, damn it. And you do, not because you want it, because you breathed it.

Hard to be tough sometime, hard to have great boundaries, to know,in your heart,
This is not what I want, this is not who I am. This is merely something I thought once, under a great deal of stress.

Or

It's something someone else wanted, under stress. But it has nothing to do with reality, not mine. I really don't want to die, I certainly haven't the guts to kill myself even if I did.But here are these stupid thoughts, coming home anyway.

So I wrote her back, said something like this:
Not to answer you personally, but hypothetically people do have what I call "normal" suicidal desires and fears, and these mean absolutely nothing, meaning, people who have these desires and fears would never in a million years kill themselves. You might be one of these people, probably are. That said, for sure, you gotta get therapy to work it out and you really can work it out. Reading about it on the Internet probably won't cut it.So you want to know, don't you, what happens in a therapy that works it out?

You go over the trauma, for there usually is one, even if it is imagined. Some people have amazing imaginations and they make themselves upset with their own creativity. Doesn't matter if it's real or imagined, most of the time it's real. You go over it again and again, line by line, verse by verse, and examine your responses, how they were normal fear generated thoughts under stress and how wanting to kill yourself rather than face others in the shame of it all felt like a normal solution.

Then with your therapist you do a cognitive behavioral therapy. You challenge the date on the inserted thought.
Wait a minute. The date on that thought is August something, 2004! It's now November, 2009! That thought has expired! And you let it expire, die a natural death.

You challenge your shame, you say,
And I did nothing to deserve this! Why should I kill myself over something that happened to me?As my daughter is fond of saying, Most of the time things happen to us. And she's right. We can take responsibility, sure, and we should, and we should rectify whatever we can, make whatever amends are necessary, do whatever we can to right life, but owning things to the degree that they make us sick? Forget that.

Be charitable, pass them along.

therapydoc

Artikel ini hanyalah simpanan cache dari url asal penulis yang berkebarangkalian sudah terlalu lama atau sudah dibuang :

http://www.tipsandinformationresauce.us/2009/11/wanting-to-kill-yourself-but-not.html

Kempen Promosi dan Iklan
Kami memerlukan jasa baik anda untuk menyokong kempen pengiklanan dalam website kami. Serba sedikit anda telah membantu kami untuk mengekalkan servis percuma aggregating ini kepada semua.

Anda juga boleh memberikan sumbangan anda kepada kami dengan menghubungi kami di sini
Cars Will Fly One Day But Not Today Says Dr M In Jest

Cars Will Fly One Day But Not Today Says Dr M In Jest

papar berkaitan - pada 18/10/2019 - jumlah : 325 hits
PETALING JAYA Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad believes a day will come when cars can fly but that day has yet to arrive Well the cars will fly one day but not today Nowadays you have drones and drones can carry heavier and heavier weight Maybe one ...
Hello What Has Mca And Mic Got To Say Haram To Surrender To Non Muslims But Not Haram To Use Non Muslims Tax Monies

Hello What Has Mca And Mic Got To Say Haram To Surrender To Non Muslims But Not Haram To Use Non Muslims Tax Monies

papar berkaitan - pada 8/10/2019 - jumlah : 318 hits
38 NEWSIt s haram to surrender power to non Muslims Hadi AwangThe PAS president explains to followers why the party was present at two different unity gatherings 1h agoWhat has MCA and MIC got to say The highest tax payers are NON MUSLIMS a...
Resolutions On Five Areas Presented At Malay Dignity Congress But Pm Says Not All Will Be Met

Resolutions On Five Areas Presented At Malay Dignity Congress But Pm Says Not All Will Be Met

papar berkaitan - pada 7/10/2019 - jumlah : 449 hits
Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad receiving the resolutions made at the Malay Dignity Congress as event chairman and UM vice chancellor Datuk Dr Abdul Rahim Hashim and the event s secretariat chief executive Prof Datuk Dr Zainal Kling ...
Halim Saad Questioned Why Plus Debt Not Paid

Halim Saad Questioned Why Plus Debt Not Paid

papar berkaitan - pada 17/10/2019 - jumlah : 419 hits
If three is a crowd four is a party It came to the attention of this blogger that the pioneer of PLUS Tan Sri Halim Saad with a Dato Wong Gian Kui entered a bid for PLUS The offer is for Khazanah s 51 stake for RM5 3 billion and came with 2...
Najib 1mdb Trial Day 23 Ex Ceo Agrees Pm S Far Reaching Powers In 1mdb Not Uncommon

Najib 1mdb Trial Day 23 Ex Ceo Agrees Pm S Far Reaching Powers In 1mdb Not Uncommon

papar berkaitan - pada 17/10/2019 - jumlah : 416 hits
The criminal trial of former prime minister Najib Abdul Razak involving the alleged abuse of power and money laundering of 1MDB funds enters its 23rd day today at the High Court in Kuala Lumpur Malaysiakini brings you live reports of the pr...
Felda Board Members Agreed Not To Purchase Merdeka Palace Hotel Court Hears

Felda Board Members Agreed Not To Purchase Merdeka Palace Hotel Court Hears

papar berkaitan - pada 16/10/2019 - jumlah : 321 hits
The High Court here heard that all board members of Felda Investment Corporation Sdn Bhd agreed with the proposal by the company s management not to proceed with the purchase of Merdeka Palace Hotel and Suites in Kuching worth RM160 million...
Najib Look At Bandar Malaysia S Viability Not 1mdb Debts

Najib Look At Bandar Malaysia S Viability Not 1mdb Debts

papar berkaitan - pada 16/10/2019 - jumlah : 261 hits
PARLIAMENT Former prime minister Najib Abdul Razak today lashed out at Finance Minister Lim Guan Eng for highlighting debt repayments by 1MDB and SRC International Bhd instead of 1MDB s assets In his speech on the Budget 2020 in the Dewan R...
Dr M And Sosma Lawyer Tells Overzealous Dap Leaders Not To Mislead Public

Dr M And Sosma Lawyer Tells Overzealous Dap Leaders Not To Mislead Public

papar berkaitan - pada 16/10/2019 - jumlah : 283 hits
In their overzealousness to defend colleagues who were arrested DAP leaders must not behave in an insolent manner said lawyer Haniff Khatri Abdulla Cautioning them against making misleading statements which could confuse the public he said ...
Education Ministry Should Not Keep Mum Over Convocation Protest Issue Says Wee

Education Ministry Should Not Keep Mum Over Convocation Protest Issue Says Wee

papar berkaitan - pada 18/10/2019 - jumlah : 401 hits
The Education Ministry should speak up in the matter of the student activist who conducted a protest against the vice chancellor of Universiti Malaya at a convocation ceremony says MCA president Datuk Seri Dr Wee Ka Siong The Ayer Hitam MP ...
Umno Youth To Protest Extra Hours For Civil Servants Working Shifts

Pensyarah Didakwa Hina Nabi Jawi Turut Buka Siasatan

The Difference In The Concept Of Illicit Relationship Between Muslims And Non Muslims

Pas Langkaui Retorik Dap Isytihar Pas Muuh Utama

Murid Buktikan Pada Guru Lembu Makan Martabak

Let S Not Return To The Old Ways Of Tight Media Control

Abang Adik Wins Best Film Award In Los Angeles

Air Terjun Tujuh Puteri Bukit Sri Permata


echo '';
Senarai Lagu Tugasan Konsert Minggu 1 Gegar Vaganza 2024 Musim 11

Info Dan Sinopsis Drama Berepisod Dhia Kasyrani Slot Akasia TV3

Biodata Terkini Reshmonu Peserta Gegar Vaganza 2024 Musim 11 GV11 Penyanyi Lagu Hey Waley

Gegar Vaganza 2024 GV 11 Hadiah Tiket Peserta Juri Format Pemarkahan Dan Segala Info Tonton Live Di Astro Ria Dan Sooka

6 Janji Donald Trump Kalau Dia Naik Jadi Presiden Semula


Resepi Tenggiri Masak Sambal Ala Arab Zigni Yemeni

Pengalaman Naik Mahkamah Saman Jpj Bila Kereta Tiada Roadtax Dan Insuran

12 Abang Abang Macho Berentap Dalam Who S Your Bro Maskulin

Hoo Pang Ron Cheng Su Yin Ke Final China Masters 2024

Geng Jin

Perbanyakkanlah Taubat