Tuesday Jokes 157
Colorful serving lid of the Bajau community in Sabah
A couple just got a new house.
The husband turned to his wife and ask her to go to the hardware store and get
a door hinge for him. She kindly agreed and left.
When she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it
on the counter in front of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any
screws for it, so he asked her, "Do you want a screw for that hinge?"
She looked back at him and
said, "No, but I'll make love to you for that toaster in the window!"
What's the difference between a RM 50 steak and a RM 99
steak?
February 14th!
Harry Truman was known for his
blunt manner of speaking. When he made a speech at the Washington Garden Club,
he kept referring to the "good manure" that needed to be used for the
flowering plants.
Some society women complained to his wife, Bess.
"Couldn't you get the President to say 'fertilizer'?" they asked.
Mrs. Truman replied,
"Heavens, no! It took me twenty-five years to get him to say
'manure!'"
How do you spot a blind man on
a nude beach?
It’s not hard!
A blonde decides one day that
she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are
perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are
smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint
a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she
gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the
distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife
lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski
jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He
asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not
all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He
then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she
was reading the instructions on the paint can and it said...
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO
COATS!
You have to stay in
shape.
My mother started walking five
miles a day when she was 60.
She's 97 now and... We have no
idea where she is now!
Q: Why did the Police Officer
put a bra on the road?
A: To place a booby trap!
A mother took her little boy to
church. While in the church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to
pee."
The mother said to the little
boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now
on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper'.”
The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his
father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to
whisper."
The father looked at him and
said, "Okay, just whisper in my ear!"
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