Hari Raya Jokes 2023

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Lemang getting ready for Hari Raya Aidilfitri last night.

President Joe "Sleepy" Biden wants the White House painted!
The Chinese painter quoted 3 million dollars.
The European painter quoted 7 million dollars.
The Malaysian painter quoted 10 million dollars.


Joe asked the Chinese guy how did you quote?
He said:
1 million for paint
1 million for labour
1 million profit.

He asked the European guy?

He said:
3 million for paint
2 million for labour
2 million profit.

 

He asked the Malaysian guy?

The Malaysian said:
4 million for me
3 million for you

3 million will give it to the Chinese guy to paint!


Lemang being prepared
What did one ocean say to the other?
"Check out this awesome plane I got! 
I hear Malaysian is a pretty rare brand."

"Nah man, they aren't; I got one too!"

 

Four men walked into an upmarket bar...
One is a Malaysian, one a Laotian, one a Burmese and the other is a Vietnamese. As they walked in, the doorman stops them and says, "sorry gentlemen, I can't let you in without a Thai!"

 

How do Malaysian Airlines serve all their drinks?
On the rocks!

 

A Chinese official invites a Malaysian official to his house.

The Malaysian official is in awe that the Chinese official's house is a big and luxurious mansion, so he asks him how did he manage to own such an estate with a public servant's salary.

The Chinese man takes him to the balcony, and points to a half-built bridge.

"See that bridge? I used half of its budget to build my mansion."

Six months later, the Malaysian official invites the Chinese official to his house.

This time, the Chinese official is shocked by the Malaysian official's incredibly luxurious, huge and beautiful mansion, many times more expensive than his own.

So, he asks the Malaysian how did he managed it with a public servant's salary.

The Malaysian official brings him to the balcony and points out:

"Do you see that children hospital there?"
"What hospital?"

 

Why don't Malaysian TV shows get commissioned?
Because they all have terrible pilots!

 

Malaysian food is the best!
Because it goes down easily!

 

Three amateur shoemakers entered their finest pair of footwear into a competition and are about to be graded on their handiwork ...
The judge goes to the African girl and says "These are the finest pair of shoes I have ever seen! *A+*!"
Then the judge walks up to a chubby Malaysian boy and says "Good effort, but you could've done better. *C-*."
Finally, the judge approaches the ginger boy and moans "Not even a pauper would wear such a wretched footwear! *F*!"
"Seriously?!" the ginger kid snarls. "How could I have *possibly* messed up such an impeccable pair of shoes?"
The judge sighs and answers

"You forgot the sole!"
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