Thursday Jokes 113

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I know sometimes you feel like giving up. Every new day there seems to be no change in your life. All the troubles of your heart and worries keep on worsening! You wonder why everything is happening to you. You keep on asking yourself why you’re not lucky like other people. You keep on praying to God but so far, He hasn’t answered your prayers. Now you have started losing hope. You now think that maybe you were meant to be like that or maybe somebody cursed you. But I tell you what my friend? You weren’t meant to be like that and you weren’t cursed. God is silent but He watches you day and night. He listens to your prayers and He has something special for you. Just stay strong, focused and hardworking and keep praying to God. 

Bear it in your minds that you’re not alone in that hard situation, we are all in the same boat. So don’t give up, my dear friend. 

Your good time is coming soon!


Q: Why should lawyers wear lots of sunscreen when vacationing at a beach resort?

A: Because they are used to doing all of their lying indoors!


A pastor was opening his mail one morning and one envelope had only a single sheet of paper with a single word printed on it: “FOOL!”

The following Sunday the priest announced, “I have known many people who have written letters and forgotten to sign their name. But this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name but had forgotten to write a letter!”


Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?"

Student: "My father's cheque book!"


At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!"
  
A man is madly in love with a princess and wants to propose but an evil witch has cast a spell on him and now he can say only one alphabet a year. 

So, he waits 14 agonizing years - accumulating all his words - before approaching his beloved. Finally, the big day arrives. When he sees her, his heart skips a beat.

He gathers his nerve, drops to his knees and intones, "My darling, I have waited many years to say this - will you marry me?" 

The princess turns around, smiles, and says, "Pardon?"


Q: What happened to the banker who went to law school?

A: Now she is a loan shark!


Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. 

The Brunette team rides at the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level. 

The Brunette team down below is whooping it up and having a great time when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.

She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

She says, "What the heck's going on up here? We're having a grand time downstairs!" 

One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"


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