Perhaps Quid Pro Quo Is What We Need To Stand Up To Bullies

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BULLYING often stems from imbalances in status, influence, and power. In schools, every space, whether it is the science lab during group projects or the basketball court during recess becomes a social battleground.
Peer hierarchies shape not only how students are treated but also how they treat others. In such a harsh and unforgiving environment, kindness and courage alone may not always be enough. Sometimes, what students need to survive is leverage.
In simple terms, leverage refers to the value a person brings to others, which gives them an advantage in certain situations to achieve their goals.
In a school setting, leverage can take many forms, such as being smart, wealthy, or even physically attractive.
Every bully tends to have some kind of leverage, whether it’s having many friends or holding a certain position in school. These advantages make them feel important and confident, often giving them a sense of pride that can lead them to believe it’s acceptable to put others down.
To stand up to bullies, good students need to have their own leverage too. Unlike bullies, however, they use it not to put others down, but to show why they should not be messed with in the first place.
Sooner or later, if the bullies are smart enough, they will realise that there will be a time when they will need those students with unique skills to help them out.
Starting off on the wrong foot with them would not be a wise move. It becomes a kind of quid pro quo relationship whereby both sides needing each other’s strengths to reach certain goals.
It might sound unusual, but in the complex social world of high school, even the illusion of value can be powerful enough to protect a student from bullying.
(Image: Pexels/Ann Blodzinski)Let’s take this example. Fakhrul is an infamous bully in his high school. Everyone fears him, mainly because of his incredible strength and massive physique unlike Akmal, who can barely do push-ups and stands at less than 160 centimeters tall.
Fakhrul could flick Akmal’s forehead and send him flying across the room…well figuratively, of course.
But here is the catch: Fakhrul has never once laid a hand on Akmal. He bullies other kids, makes threats, throws his weight around but when it comes to Akmal, he keeps his distance. Why?
Because he knows exactly what Akmal is capable of, as proven by Akmal’s stellar performance in the latest exams. Moreover, the fact that Akmal carries himself with confidence only makes the towering Fakhrul feel even more insecure.
Since Fakhrul struggles academically, befriending Akmal seems like the smartest move he can make. It may not be the most dramatic analogy, but it is a clear example of how leverage can be used to counter bullying.
You do not have to shout about your strengths, sometimes; simply knowing you have something others lack is enough. That quiet confidence is often what separates the hunter from the hunted.
In an ideal world, a child should not need leverages to feel safe while seeking knowledge. Education should not be a battlefield, but a sanctuary. Sadly, that is not the world we live in.
While we rightly emphasise compassion and humility as core values, it is equally important to equip children with the strength to navigate the complex social dynamics of school life.
Emphasising on the importance of compassion and humility is an important aspect of education, but perhaps it is time for the adults to illuminate the younger generations on what truly counts when trying to survive in a cruel social world.
Adults—parents, teachers, and community leaders—must illuminate what truly matters: not popularity, dominance, or influence, but integrity, empathy, respect, and resilience. These values must not only be taught but lived.
Luqman Hakim Saifullizam is a Bachelor of Counselling student at the Department of Educational Psychology and Counselling, Faculty of Education, Universiti Malaya. Assoc. Prof Dr Azmawaty Mohamad Nor is the Deputy Dean (Undergraduate Programme) of Faculty of Education, Universiti Malaya, and a Registered Counsellor.
The views expressed are solely of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of  MMKtT
- Focus Malaysia.

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