Loh S Journey From Abused Wife To Fighting Mum

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Penang-born single mother Loh Siew Hong's dream of a normal childhood shattered in 1992 when she was five years old.
Both her parents died of cancer, leaving her an orphan and she had to be looked after by her mother's relatives in Sungai Petani, Kedah.
Growing up in an Indian community, she followed the Hindu faith and learned to speak Tamil fluently.
Seeking to improve her life, Loh completed her studies as a chef at a local community college. It was at the college that she met her husband, Nagahswaran Muniandy.
They fell in love, and against her family's wishes, she married Nagahswaran.
In 2008, she received not one but two bundles of joy - the birth of her twin daughters. She was only 21. According to Loh, she had a tough pregnancy.
"I vomited every day, I hardly ate, and stayed most of the time in the hospital," Loh told Malaysiakini as she recalled the ordeal.
"I was very worried but told myself no matter what, I would care for the two babies.
"There was not much support from family members or neighbours, as my husband barred me from contacting anyone," she lamented.
Loh described her husband, then an engineering technician in the Kulim Hi-Tech area, as a very possessive and jealous man.
“It’s my fate,” she sighed, resigning to her situation.
Her son, whom she called "my prince", arrived three years later.
Loh started working when her son was three years old. She took a job as a waitress at a food court in Sungai Petani.
"My husband never gave me a single sen. He only paid the house rent and utility bills.”
Loh said that she strived to save as much as possible and after two years, her boss agreed to let her take over the food stall.
"I finally opened my own economy rice business. My twins were in primary three, while my son was in kindergarten.
"I really loved the job. I only had to work four hours to earn RM500 on a daily basis," she said with a hint of pride.
Journey into darkness
Her journey into darkness and pain began in 2017 when Nagahswaran started physically abusing her.
Loh said while he never smoked or drank alcohol, Nagahswaran started taking crystal methamphetamine, a recreational drug commonly known as ice, that year.
He also became aggressive and suspicious over every little detail.
"I took care of his blind 80-year-old grandmother while running the economy rice business and helped my children with their homework at night.
"I became quite independent and successful,” she beamed. ”I was selling food which was affordable to the workers around the area, so my shop became popular.”
Nagahswaran began demanding money from Loh, but she kept telling him that she did not have enough.
By then, he had stopped paying the house rent and utility bills.
"I had to pay for everything. I got to know he was having an affair with an Indian Muslim woman, but I did not know who she was.
"Apparently, he had been seeing the woman after I gave birth to my son. Even my neighbours knew and they told me about it," she said.
"When I asked him about this other woman, he beat me and scolded me for listening to outsiders.
"I did not want to see him with the other woman. It was very traumatic for me. But I just let it be. I forced myself to accept my fate," she added.
Eventually, Nagahswaran's aggression became too much for her to bear.
She tried to seek help from a friend who frequently visited her shop. This acquaintance had a neighbour who was a police officer.
But Nagahswaran got to know of her plan when her son unwittingly mentioned it to him.
"He was so angry that he dragged me to a forest near the house, pulled my hair, cut it with a knife, and broke my legs and arm.
"He brought my children along and threatened that he would burn us all alive. My children were terrified," she said.
Police report
She finally reached out to members of her family in Singapore, who lodged a police report in Johor Bahru.
The police came knocking at her mother-in-law's home and took Nagahswaran away.
"It was then I took my children with me, lodged another police report and headed to the Welfare Department. I was in plaster for six months.
"I was placed in an old folk's home under the Welfare Department in Bidong, about 12km from Sungai Petani.
"I stayed there for a month but by then, my husband was released on RM10,000 bail," she said.
The welfare officer told her she could not stay long at their premises. Loh recollected that the officer even made snide remarks about her plight.
"You chose your husband, you have to live with it," Loh was told.
In despair, Loh returned to her husband. He remained sober for only three days. Then it was back to the same old routine.
She found a job as a cashier as her sister-in-law had taken over her economy rice stall. Her monthly pay was RM1,200 but her husband demanded RM500 from her every month as he was unemployed.
Loh said Nagahswaran was always at her workplace to keep a close eye on her and see if she flirted with anyone.
"All I had to do was be nice to my customer and he would question if I had slept with him.”
Loh said he constantly made a scene at her workplace.
CCTV cameras
Eventually, Loh left her cashier job and stayed at home, where Nagahswaran installed CCTV cameras to monitor her movement.
There were CCTV cameras on the roof and trees next to the house. If any cars drove by and the driver glanced at the house, her husband would suspect it was her lover.
"One day, I told him, ‘If I had a lover, I would have run away with him. But yet, despite your beatings, I am still here with my children’.
"I didn't have much money and could only buy eggs to cook for my children. They asked me why they had to eat eggs every day. How could I tell them that their father did not give me any money to feed them?
"Although I am in pain, I told myself to let it be. As long as I can still feed my children, I accept it," she said as tears ran down her cheeks.
Loh said her husband would sleep for days when he was on drugs. He would wake up only to abuse her or to demand food.
At times, he could not sleep for days due to the effects of the drugs.
Loh Siew Hong and her three children'I just wanted to get out'
Loh loathed the situation she was in and resolved once again to leave with her children in tow.
One day, there was an event next door and Nagahswaran was not at home. Loh quickly bundled her children and made her escape, seeking shelter at a family member's home.
After that, she and the children left for Port Dickson, Negeri Sembilan, to live with her cousin who is attached to the army. Although he said the place was safe, Loh still felt traumatised.
When she tried to register the children at a school nearby, Loh was told she needed documents to show that she had applied for a change of schools.
Soon the children started asking for their father as they missed him. Despite being violent towards her, Loh said Nagahswaran was a good father to their children and never abused them.
Following this, she swallowed her pride and returned to her husband.
Nagahswaran was only sober for three days, after which he started to beat her again. Her neighbours knew what was happening, but no one came to her rescue.
One day he hit her head with a hammer and broke her legs again. She had to ask her mother-in-law to help call for an ambulance.
"I did not tell her that her son abused me. I just wanted to get out of the house."
Loh was hospitalised and received 27 stitches on her head.
Nagahswaran found her at the hospital and tried to take her home, but the doctor said: "No, let her get well before you take her home."
He later lodged a police report against the doctor.
Nagahswaran also brought her children to the hospital to persuade her to go home.
While at the hospital, Loh met her sister's friend, who was shocked to see her condition. She contacted Loh's sister who sought the aid of the Women's Center for Change (WCC) in George Town, Penang.
WCC took care of her until her legs recovered. While recuperating at the shelter, Loh looked for jobs and landed one in Genting Highlands as a chef.
She needed to be financially independent if she wanted to look after her children.
"So many challenges! But I accept them all," said Loh, who is currently on unpaid leave to embark on yet another struggle - to regain custody of her three children who had been converted to Islam without her consent.
Unilaterally converted to Islam
In July 2019, Loh obtained interim custody of her children, who were then with her husband. But when she went to claim them, the police were not helpful.
Her neighbours urged her to rescue her children, fearing they might be abused by their father. She immediately filed for divorce and custody.
Loh eventually obtained full custody of her children early last year.
By then, her husband was arrested and sentenced to two years in jail in Machang, Kelantan, over a drug-related offence. Loh had no idea where her three children were.
She eventually found the twins, now 14, with an Islamic NGO and her 10-year-old son at a Tahfiz school in Tasek Gelugor, Penang.
All three were unilaterally converted to Islam without her knowledge.
Several NGOs have rallied behind Loh, demanding that her children be returned to their mother.
Perlis mufti Mohd Asri Zainul Abidin with Loh’s daughtersHowever, Perlis mufti Mohd Asri Zainul Abidin claimed the children did not want to see their mother and would rather remain as Muslims.
But Loh is determined to get her children back.
"This is not about race or politics. They can be Muslim, Hindu or Christian. I accept that. I just want my children back," she pleaded.
Meanwhile, Nagahswaran is expected to be released from prison in November. - Mkini

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