Lelaki 50 50 Choi

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There's an influencer on IG, @waizeer, asking people in Malaysia about how they'd split household bills with their partner in the future. And guess what? Most of the men said: 50-50.
Euwww. Malunya dik. Honestly, are you even a man in the first place? It's like you're completely bringing down the dignity of men eh. Your ego is sky-high, jalan pun berkepak, dressed up bukan main, but when asked a basic question about responsibility, it's suddenly 50-50. 
I just don't get it. As a woman, I've been there. I was once married, caught in that relationship where I was constantly "giving". The excuse back then? 
"Kita baru nak hidup," 
The audacity! 🙄 I was working, raising our 1, 2, 3, 4 children by myself – yes, four! – all those years while pregnant, breastfeeding, cooking, managing our clothes and meals, running the house, handling school, and paying all the utility bills, milk, diapers, everything

And then, when I finally mustered the courage to bring it up to my then-husband (after almost 10 years of my wasted life), his response was a gem:
"If you could do it before, why can't you do it now?"
Seriously, bro? 
I even confided in someone I trusted, hoping for some understanding. Their advice? "Kaklong, you're just starting out. His salary isn't much. You have kids so close together (poor spacing). Just be patient, it's all God's will,"
I beg to differ, and I did differ, quite strongly:
Me too, I was just starting my career
Me too, it was my first time having kids and raising them
Me too, I was just trying to adapt to this whole new life

I had a husband, a supposed partner, so why was I the only one shouldering all the responsibility? Kenapa? Why was it always me

The level of toxicity was suffocating. I realized I was stuck in a toxic environment, and that's when I made a bold decision. I just fucking left. I filed for divorce and nafkah (though, let's be real, he hasn't paid a sen till this day) and honestly? I'm living super happy with my four incredible kids, completely drama-free
Since 2018, 5 tahun pertama je, my life has been a testament to what a woman can achieve when she chooses herself and her children:
✔ I have houses I proudly call my own.
✔ I have my own car.
✔ I have a thriving career.
✔ I've raised all four of my amazing boys without a helper.
✔ My kids are not just good students; they're all best students.✔ I don’t ask for anyone help even from my own family.
✔ I manage everything – absolutely everything – all by myself, through my own hard work, sweat, and tears

I often wonder, if I had a truly supportive and provider husband from the beginning, Mak probably dah kaya raya tahap beli private island boleh pencen at 40s kan? HAHAHA.
Apa-apa pun Alhamdulillah, even though the journey has been winding, I genuinely don't feel like my kids and I are lacking anything. Money isn't even an issue to the extent that if something's gone today, Ibu can buy it again tomorrow #iykwim.
No drama. No expectations. And blessedly, zero toxicity. Weekdays are for work, and weekends are for cooking everything my kids nak. Kadang sampai tak keluar dapur, memasak sahaja all day. Even though I wasn't a natural cook or baker before, I've auto-magically become one. And if something doesn't turn out perfect? We just laugh it off and enjoy the moment.
This is me. So, to you, dik, who isn't married yet, the moment you utter "50-50" – yeah, consider yourself judged. Because true partnership isn't about splitting bills down the middle; it's about your awareness of your own responsibility, and sometimes, it's about recognizing when you're the only one pulling the weight.
And just to be clear: as a woman and a Muslim, I strongly believe in this. Like that funny guy (bocah albana?) from TikTok said so well, our faith teaches us that women should be looked after, loved, and financially supported. In plain terms: a woman's main job isn't to make money. She just needs to be herself, with her partner taking care of their part and financial side. Come on, kerja perempuan ni cuma habiskan duit laki dia je. And guess what? Sebenarnya dari situlah datangnya keberkatan rezeki.
P/S: If I can, why can't you? Belum kahwin dah cakap 50-50. Ada anak nanti, entah macam mana. Kalau rasa belum boleh tanggung anak orang, jangan sibuk nak bercinta or apatah lagi kahwin. Choi.

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