Homelessness Have Young Adults Become Less Caring

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In my last column, I wrote about how shameful it is that we are allowing our senior citizens to become homeless.
A report in FMT on March 12, 2025, under the heading “Why Thursday is special for abandoned senior citizens on KL’s Jalan Sayur”, quoted Tony Lian, the man who feeds abandoned senior citizens in Kuala Lumpur, as saying: “When I was young, I rarely saw old people sleeping on the streets. Now, their numbers have multiplied.”
Why are the numbers increasing?
One reason is the lack of a comprehensive national plan to deal with senior citizens, especially those who can no longer afford houses or are turned out onto the streets by their relatives.
Another, and probably the most important reason, is an inability to care for their aged parents due to crushing poverty. With prices of almost everything continuing to rise from year to year, many families are suffering.
P Murugiah, the president of the Penang Hindu Association, who works to alleviate the suffering of the abandoned, has witnessed the pulverising blows of poverty on families.
Over the past 10 years, his association has helped more than 50 senior citizens who had been abandoned by their children. The association has also given a decent burial to many more who died in hospitals, their bodies lying unclaimed by family or friends.
According to Murugiah, almost all those who are abandoned are from poor families and/or are suffering from some illness.
“They are homeless because rental has gone up between 300% and 500% in Penang and their children are unable to bear the cost of looking after them as well as their own children, especially as the cost of living keeps going up.
“The situation is worse if the aged parents need medical attention, especially dialysis treatment. Government hospitals don’t have enough machines to cater to all those who need dialysis and the welfare department does not help if the children are earning,” he said.
Their earnings are insufficient to take care of their family’s needs and pay for the parent’s medical bills or dialysis treatment, which is very expensive.
“They seek donations or borrow from people but when the money runs out, the senior citizens either leave the family so as not to burden their children or are abandoned.”
This is especially so when the children just can’t take the pain of caring for a sick person anymore.
Murugiah regularly receives calls from hospitals seeking his association’s assistance to help senior citizens who have been abandoned by their relatives. Currently, he is in the process of helping settle two senior citizens.
But there have always been poor people. How is it that there were less homeless in the past?
Could it be that we, as a society, have grown less caring, less sensitive to the pain of our elders? Is our pain or suffering threshold today lower than that of past generations?
In the Hindi movie “Vanvas”, the protagonist, played by Nana Patekar, is abandoned by his three sons and their wives. One reason is that they are tired of caring for the widower who needs medicine to remember who he is; another is that they want to sell his house and share the money.
The last son is against the idea of abandoning their father but his wife nags him into silence.
Is “Vanvas” a reflection of society today?
In the FMT report I mentioned above, a man named James, was quoted as saying: “My children are grown up, but they don’t care about their father. They’re busy with their jobs. I can’t be begging them. I’d rather take food from the streets than beg from my children.”
A widower by the name of Lee, 73, said his children did not want to look after him while Chong, 80, claimed that her children did not give her enough food.
An April 2024 news report detailed how a couple in their 60s living in Kuala Lumpur were invited by their son to stay with him in Kulim but later – after making use of their earnings and savings – abandoned them.
The mother said she and her husband were treated badly by their daughter-in-law in the three years that they stayed in Kulim. “One day, I heard my son’s wife say to him: ‘It’s either me or them’.”
In November 2023, their son put them on a bus to Kuala Lumpur and the couple arrived the following morning with no place to go. They began living on pavements and doing odd jobs.
The classic mother-in-law vs daughter-in-law clash seems to be a major contributory factor. One acquaintance told me that he had to send his relatively healthy mother – who had been living with him all his life – to his sister’s house because his wife wanted her out.
“I was forced to choose between my mother and my wife, and I had to also think about our children. But my mother sensed my dilemma and said she would live with my sister. She had wanted to live with me until the end of her days, but that didn’t happen. She died late last year. I’ve not recovered from it emotionally.”
An elderly woman told me that her daughter-in-law recently suggested that she sell her house and move into a home for the aged.
“She and my son hardly visit me; and they don’t give me money although both are earning well. Fortunately, I have my own house and some savings to keep me going and I’m still mobile. She got angry when I said I preferred to stay in my own house.
“My son sides with his wife and does not consider the sacrifices I have made, the pain I have had to undergo, to raise him. And that pains me even more.”
But it’s not always the fault of the daughter-in-law. I know of a man who – at the insistence of his son – changed the ownership of his house to his son. Subsequently, the son sold it and moved into a rented house where the couple had to stay cooped in a small room. Neglect took its toll and the mother died a short while later, a heartbroken woman. His father has not recovered from the shock and is very ill now.
One of my former teachers died recently. He had several children who were well off, yet he lived the last 10 years plus of his life in a nursing home and died alone.
I often hear from older people that their children forget the sacrifices that the former make – giving up luxuries, vacations, even food that they enjoy – to ensure they have a bright future. But when they grow up, the children are not grateful, senior citizens lament.
Are young adults neglecting the aged as they chase after material goods, career development and personal fulfilment? Or are senior citizens expecting too much from their children?
As head of the family for decades, perhaps they fret over being relegated to just being an appendage in the family now managed by their son or daughter or daughter-in-law. I have seen senior citizens whose word was the law at one time thrust into a subservient position or being ignored or neglected.
Are younger people more concerned about money and their own children than in their duty towards aged parents? Are younger adults less caring? - FMT
The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.

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