Girl S Talk Why Building A Man Is A Bad Investment

---

With a solid dating history (including one spectacular marriage fail 😂), I can confidently say: finding a good man is tough. It's not about bitterness. I'm-genuinely-not. It's just the reality of the dating world, especially when you're a parent. The struggle is real, people. 
And one thing I've learned? And another truth? As givers, we have to learn our limits, because takers? They have no shame.

He'll give you 1001 excuses, but the outcome always lands in the same place. And let's be honest, most of those excuses boil down to what? Money? or he's "too busy working"? or some other BS? Please. 💁🏻‍♀️ You're handling your own life just fine, thank you very much


You just wanted to, you know, include him. Because it's his damn responsibility in the first place. You're not asking for the moon, you just want him to, you know, be an adult. But has he stepped up? Nope 🙃. And surprise, surprise, he's getting real comfortable with the arrangement. In fact, he doesn't even feel shame asking you to do things he's perfectly capable of doing himself.

Maybe he did do something. But was it bare minimum? Did you still end up doing all the heavy lifting, the thinking 🧠, carrying the mental load? And then when you bring it up, he plays dumb: "Am I not doing anything?" As if you're the problem. 
Honey, he's in survival mode. His problems become your problems 💢, and if you're a kind, generous woman (like most of us are), he'll drain your energy and see you as weak. He knows you were out of his league, that you were more educated, more emotionally intelligent, more everything. But you were too good, so he sees it as a doormat

If you've been there, done that, helped him with his resume, got him a job, helped him build his business, taught him how to manage his money 💵, basically raised him… he's not going to thank you. You were just a stepping stone.
Yes, again. Stop being down for men who are already at the bottom. They'll only drag you down 🡻 with them. We need to stop teaching young women that "ride or die" and "struggle love" are normal. THEY ARE NOT. 
"Women are tested when a man has nothing, and men are tested when they have everything,"
Pundek BS. The idea that a man should put you through ups and downs and tribulation to "prove" your love?  That's toxic 💀. It's not a test; it's manipulation. You shouldn't have to fight for anyone's love, and you definitely shouldn't have to lift a grown man up.⬆️ If he can't lift himself, well, that's his own little Everest to climb. Not yours. 🙄
Listen to Auntie okay girl, I'm speaking from experience and Ibu Mertua-ku movie 🎬 (Of course I'm on Nyonya Mansur side! Will you let your daughter be with a man like that? Lazy bum. Tahu nak buat hidup senang sahaja. True love, my foot). These men will destiny swap with you. Don't even think about filling out an application for a man like that. He wouldn't do it for you. 
Don't let him drive your car 🚗, make him walk. 
Don't put anything in your name for him—no car, no house 🏡, no life insurance

Don't let him move in, especially if you have kids. 
Don't lend him money, don't help with his 📃 bills

Stop cooking for him. Broke men don't deserve anything. 
If he goes to jail? 🚔 Let him sit there

And the biggest rule of all: don't get pregnant by him. Yes, I'm serious. 💯
Girl, we deserve better than this. We are not Bob the Builder. I'm not building any more men. And for God's sake, I have four sons to take care of

Key Takeaways (aka Truth Bombs 💣):Building a man is NOT your job. You're not Habitat for Humanity, okay? He's a grown-up. He should be able to build his own damn house (metaphorically speaking, of course).

"Potential" is code for "project." And honey, you're not a contractor. You're a queen. 

He will resent you. Seriously. You become a walking, talking reminder of his "struggle days." Nobody wants that kind of energy around.

"Ride or die" is a one-way ticket to Heartbreak City. You ride, he dies (the relationship, that is). 💔

Struggle love is a scam. Love shouldn't be a constant uphill battle. It should be…well, lovely. 

Men rarely reciprocate. They'll take your help, use your resources, and then bounce when they're "ready." It's the ultimate "thank you, next." 

You are worthy of someone who's already built. You deserve a king, not a fixer-upper.📝 This Makchic (Unsolicited, But Totally Necessary) Advice:Focus on YOU. Build your own empire. Get your own life together. Be your own damn hero.
 Set boundaries. Know your worth. Don't settle for less. If he's not bringing something to the table, he's on the menu. 

Date up, not across. Find someone who's on your level, or even higher. Don't be afraid to level up your dating game. Read: sekufu.

Don't be a "mama" to your man. He's not your child. He's a grown man who should be able to handle his own business. You want a partner, not a dependent. 

Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. Don't ignore those red flags 🚩. They're waving for a reason. I'm not the first woman this has happened to, and sadly, I won't be the last. 😔 It's a hard lesson, but if I can save one woman from this, it'll be worth it. Why are we, as women, conditioned to believe that we have to nurture and "build" men? 🙎🏻‍♀️ Why is it seen as noble to stick with someone who's dragging us down

It's time to rewrite the narrative. It's time to prioritize ourselves. It's time to say "bye" to the "potential" and hello to the actual. 
You deserve a king 👑 who recognizes your worth and treats you like the queen you are. So, ditch the damsel dude-in-distress complex, and find your man. You got this!  
P.S. If a man can bring them up to your level, he will bring you down to his. Let that sink in. 🫀

---