Dear High Class Thieves Don T Give Thievery A Bad Name

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From Adnan D
Sarcasm is intended in this letter, for the right brain.
Thieves and conmen, please do your job responsibly. It’s causing others in the same profession massive embarrassment. I hear from the grapevine that international conmen do not want to deal with Malaysian thieves any more.

Coming from a law enforcement background of many years, I must say I have seen my fair share of thieves and conmen in Malaysia and overseas, both in the public and private sector. They are everywhere, more in some countries than others.
Malaysia is not too bad, I have seen worse in other countries. Malaysians, generally, are honest people, you get what you see. However, greed has become the norm, primarily among public officials in the past 30 years or so.
When we meet colleagues at coffee breaks, we talk about these things; some are involved in the investigations and are familiar with the facts.
In a fraud or cheating case involving money, whether in Malaysia or overseas, they will always “follow the money”. The prosecutor and defence lawyer will always ask the same questions: “Where’s the money, where’s the source, whose account, how much, where and when, whose name is the bank account in, whose signature? Why did you use your father’s, son’s, mistress’ account? Are you mad?”
Watch detective movies from Sherlock Holmes to Blacklist on Netflix. Any investigator worth his salt will direct his staff to locate the money trail and scrutinise relationships between the parties.
When I was in revenue enforcement, we looked at tax filings and whether taxes were paid.
We looked at bank accounts and credit card spending. We then asked, “Does this taxpayer require an audit? Further investigations? Asset accretion, meaning, how come this guy has so many assets with his low pay? How come this fella has three wives and six children with an income of RM4,000? None of the wives are working?
“Where did the Harley Davidson and Ducati bikes, the diamonds and expensive watches come from? Where did he get the money? How come he has millions of shares when his income doesn’t reflect how he can afford it?”
We don’t go on small things, there are no resources for that. If large sums of money are deposited into bank accounts, the relevant authorities get red-flagged. Most countries practise that. Prime ministers in all countries, as well as ministers, bankers, the royalty, heads of departments, check their accounts either themselves or with their banker. That’s prudent.
If you buy a Harley Davidson, Ducati or Lamborghini, make sure your income reflects that. Or get evidence from a rich uncle to say it’s a gift from him. Make sure your uncle is rich, for God’s sake. And why are you buying everything in your name or that of a family member?
Get advice. Be a responsible thief, please.
Why some people are so foolish is beyond comprehension. It’s mind boggling, the epitome of stupidity.
My advice, please do your job properly. If you don’t know how, get a con-sultant, a clever one.
You cannot have a RM250,000 car, bought with cash, if your income is RM10,000, living in Damansara Heights with a housewife and three school-going children. Your watch is worth RM50,000, when your salary is RM5,000. In addition to that, you have a mortgage, a hire purchase and bills to pay.
Who has millions of shares when one is a public servant? Are you stupid or what? Don’t do that. Get proper advice. What about using proxies or blind trusts? Have you not heard of foreign trusts? Don’t embarrass the international players who are watching Malaysia. (Again, sarcasm intended.)
Now, the prosecutor, investigator and their team rely on hard facts and evidence. A corrupt prosecutor will withhold evidence, to lose his case. He knows what evidence the judge will need, and the judge does not have the investigation papers. Judges rely on evidence presented before the court.
An honest prosecutor will give all evidence necessary or offer evidence he thinks is relevant to his case to the defence. He won’t hide evidence. He wants justice to be done, so he can sleep peacefully at night.
To make their case straightforward, if the money leads to the conman’s account directly, you will see the prosecution team smile. The common coffee talk after the fact will be a comment like this: “Even if you want to steal, this fella is so stupid, puts money into his own account”, in a sarcastic tone.
The defence lawyer will ask his client the same question. Why did you not check your account, who has your account number, why did you nominate the illegal proceeds of crime into your own account, and so on.
Some cases can be complex if the money gets “washed” into a series of accounts and trusts, especially foreign trust regimes, which exist in some countries.
There is also something called a “blind trust”, as I mentioned earlier. A blind trust creates a barrier between the beneficiary and the trustee, although in essence they still can control assets. All this will not be in their name. But then again you need to have clever advisers to do things like this. Investigators will have a tough time linking the money to the suspect, as the burden on the prosecution is high.
My credit card was once hacked – a small amount, less than RM100 was fraudulently used. I immediately notified the bank and cancelled the card. The bank issued me a new one.
Any ordinary person, anyone, including the construction worker, will checks his bank account and balances, to see if his wages have gone in, etc. If I had millions parked in my account, for argument’s sake, I must have won some lottery I had no idea about (sarcasm intended). The prudent and reasonable man will immediately inform the bank.
Please be a responsible thief. Do not put even RM1 of illegal proceeds into your account. Please don’t buy shares in your name. Do not have millions of dollars’ worth of assets which you cannot justify. Not in a million years.
Even if you are cocky and confident you won’t get caught, good times don’t last forever as the saying goes. It is definitely not worth the risk, no matter how insignificant the risk is at the time.
Many politicians, businessmen and members of royal families have been listed in the leaked Pandora Papers. Why did they not put the funds into their own local accounts? The answer is obvious: they don’t want excess baggage later on. They are smart. Having foreign bank accounts is not illegal. Having accounts in tax-free havens, like Panama or Cayman Islands, is not illegal.
Another common defence by some when caught is, “I don’t know” or “I don’t remember”. A bare denial is no defence in court. You cannot say “I don’t know”. Sorry.
You cannot go to court and say, “I didn’t know why there was a white elephant in my room, staring at me every day. I don’t know where and how it got there”. It doesn’t work that way.
Even the most wanted fugitive on Netflix series ‘Blacklist’, Raymond Reddington, with all the connections he has, doesn’t take risks.
He and his sidekick Dembe, sit and think of ways to out-manoeuvre everyone. Only a stupid conman will ignore all the risk associated with stealing. Now, that’s one arrogant thief.
Please be responsible and do not embarrass others in the same profession.
Hope you had a good laugh. - FMT
Adnan D is an FMT reader.
The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.

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