Better Be Alone Than In Bad Company

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HUMANS are inherently social, which is crucial for survival, psychological well-being, and cultural development. Our thoughts and behaviours are geared toward forming social connections, fostering cooperation, and living within social groups.
We long remember childhood friendships and the nostalgic years spent with classmates are deeply treasured for the shared experiences and a sense of connection that transcends time. These memories reflect our shared journey and provide a sense of comfort and continuity.
The most friendly phase of our lives was during early adulthood, when our desires were the strongest for connection, support, and shared values. This period of between the ages of 20 to 39 is marked by many significant milestones and life transitions.
It is characterised by completing education, entering the workforce, developing careers or businesses, forming long-term relationships and many would marry and start their families. But later, as we get older and more discerning, social circles will gradually shrink.
For elderly folks, they could be divided into two main categories. The first are those who can be happy when alone, and the second are those who prefer to be in the company of others and love to hang out with a regular group at affordable spots such as traditional coffee shops.
The first group treasures alone time and enjoys reading, watching or listening to what they like or engage in hobbies such as gardening, growing vegetables or fruits, breeding animals for food or kept as pets, fishing, travelling, writing or busy with favourite pastimes that do not bother others.
(Image: Pexels/RDNE Stock project)The second group spends most of their time gossiping and talking and may cover anything under the sun.
Many regard themselves experts on the subject at hand, speaking louder to exert their confidence. It is best described in Chinese and translated to mean “loud but inaccurate”.
Elderly folks who are semi-illiterate and with limited knowledge are not fond of intelligent pursuits or engage in meaningful activities.
But many have oversized egos and this often results in misunderstandings and quarrels, and losing face can lead to revenge and even violence.
Last Sunday, a 63-year-old man was stabbed to death by a 70-year-old near Bukit Mertajam in Penang. Three days earlier, the two had a misunderstanding.
While six elderly folks gathered at a hut to chat, one of them hit the victim from behind with a stick causing him to fall to the ground.
He then took out a knife and stabbed the victim before fleeing the scene but was later arrested. All five men are now in police custody and the case is being probed for murder under Section 302 of the Penal Code, which carries the death penalty or life imprisonment upon conviction.
Also last Sunday, a man was found dead at 1am lying in a pool of blood in front of an entertainment centre at Mini in Sarawak after many people were involved in the deadly fight.
Within 24 hours, police have arrested six people in their 40s and efforts are being made to track down other suspects. Again, investigations will be carried out under Section 302 of the Penal Code, which carries the death penalty or life imprisonment upon conviction.
(Image: NST)I chose to be an industrial trainer as I was fond of engaging with trade personnel to help them understand better about their careers and businesses, not just by lecturing but more through explanations on the business environment, challenges. opportunities and methodologies.
On such matters, I can talk and listen and be fully absorbed the whole day. But I have little or no appetite to chat on trivial matters with friends or acquaintances, either face-to-face or over the phone, and I don’t make or pick up phone calls, regarding them as invasion of personal space.
I would rather be labelled anti-social than in bad company. Over the past decades, I never went with acquaintances to any entertainment centre, or met up with friends just to chat, aside from several reunions with my 1967 Form Five La Salle Klang classmates from around the world.
Although I am 75, I do not enjoy the company of old people. On the other hand, infants and kids are a delight to talk to as they can understand much more than what adults normally think.
Often, their parents will be surprised with the response I get from these intelligent young minds.
YS Chan is master trainer for Mesra Malaysia and Travel and Tours Enhancement Course and an Asean Tourism Master Trainer. He is also a tourism and transport business consultant.
The views expressed are solely of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of  MMKtT.
- Focus Malaysia.

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