When Have We Malaysians Ever Really Been Free

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Of late, there have been many protests around the world by those who reject the new controls and restrictions being imposed in the face of the continuing onslaught of the coronavirus.
Central to their argument, is the notion of freedom. They scream and protest “…give us our freedoms back, we will not be enslaved”.
Equally vociferous, on the opposite side, are those who advocate mandated booster shots, continued controls, and restrictions. They want to name and shame those who resist inoculations and incarcerate those who don’t follow the regulations.

Their argument is also about freedom, “…control and sort this mess out, so that we can be free again”.
Both sides of the divide claim the moral high ground for freedom.
But were we ever “free”?
I see myself as a fairly even-minded person. I have always told myself that I am the master of my own destiny, and that I will act on my convictions.
And, on the surface when I look back at my life, I think I have acted in accordance with my personal beliefs. In other words, for the past fifty years of my life, I have enjoyed being free.
But, to be honest, I now wonder about my so-called “freedom”.
Growing up, my father and mother were both educationists and they lived by certain self-imposed rules.
Going to the temple at least once a week for worship; getting accepted to the best school in town; scoring high marks at that school; attending enriching extra-curricular activities; attending every social or family event whilst behaving appropriately, so as to not bring shame to the family, marked the first 18 years of my existence.
Ostensibly, I had little or no freedom. Don’t get me wrong. I love my folks dearly. And, I am glad that they “laid down the law” for me. But freedom? Not a chance.
When I became a young adult, like many, I revelled in my freedom. I experimented with all sorts of things, especially being at college and university away from my folks, and more importantly, far away from Malaysia.
But was I really free? The 18-odd years of regimented and regulated behaviour certainly had led to firmly formed and deeply entrenched neural pathways that confused me.
So, truth be told, those formative years dealing with my newfound freedoms were extremely tough. I am sure many people experienced similar conflicts and dichotomous emotions. If you think about it, our family, cultural, religious and Malaysian indoctrination played a huge role.
I was never truly free in my mind.
Like my parents before me, I too began to live with self-imposed limitations, and curbed my freedoms. When you get told to think and act in some prescribed manner or get herded around because “this is how things are done”, it is mentally hard to ignore the dogma that has been hammered home.
Ultimately, even with the freedom of adulthood, I wasn’t truly free.
As I got older, I started working and became interested in entrepreneurship.
At this point, I learnt from my mentors that I could “rewire” my brain for optimal performance at work and also in my personal life. Every time my brain processed new information; new pathways were formed.
But these new ideas that came with my entrepreneurial journey also brought new limitations.
I learnt that to do business in Malaysia as a non-Bumiputera, I had certain state-sponsored obstacles in front of me. For example, I found out that for ownership of certain types of businesses or properties, the majority community in my home country will get special privileges or discounts, but I won’t.
As I worked in the private sector, I realised that some plum jobs came with the caveat that I must speak a particular language. A language which was neither my national language, my mother-tongue, nor the world lingua franca, all of which I am very proficient at.
Notwithstanding this, and in spite of the conditions, I continued to work on various enterprises and ventures. Some just tanked, some barely survived, and fortunately, some did well.
As I grew in business, I realised that my ability alone was never going to be enough.
I needed to network, and actively seek the benevolence and patronage of the elites. It turned out to be a fallacy that all I had to do was to work hard and live a principled life to become successful.
My freedom was subject to kowtowing to the authorities and people in power; being able to endure cloying situations; having to adhere to Malaysia’s ubiquitous and pervasive “social contract” (which incidentally, I have yet to lay eyes on); learning to compromise my principles when dealing with institutional corruption, and so forth.
As people fight over “freedom” because this pandemic has led to restrictions, opaque dealings, and incongruent policies, shouldn’t we ask ourselves if we were ever free?
Malaysia is supposedly a free country.
But it is marked by substantially rising inequalities of wealth, power and status. How can I forget that my upbringing, access to education, my race, and my family background still dramatically affect the opportunities available to me in our country?
Is this overhyped freedom that all of us harp about, simply an illusion?
When have we Malaysians ever really been free? - FMT
The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.

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