The 7 Deadly Sins Of Malaysian Cinemagoers

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Rawpixel.com pic.There is no denying that Malaysians love going to the cinema
What’s not to like about spending some two hours in an air-conditioned hall, munching on popcorn while seated comfortably watching the newest blockbuster
It is a lovely way to spend a day or night out surrounded by one’s family and friends, just enjoying the time spent together
However, everyone has their own personal horror story of having their movie time fun ruined by inconsiderate folks with deficiencies in the common sense department
Here is the list of the demons you have to sometimes battle whenever you enter theatre halls:1. The avid conversationalistThe advertisements have wrapped up, the curtain unfolds and the opening credits start rolling
The first scene starts to play and the audience begins to process what is unfolding on screen
Then, without warning, out of the silence, comes a remark about how Lisa just got a promotion and there ought to be a party thrown for her
It goes without saying that if it is necessary (which in this case, it isn’t) to speak in the theatre, just whisper
This type of cinemagoer however knows no auditory boundaries and wants the world to know every single detail about their personal lives
2. The wannabe narratorEver watched David Attenborough’s nature documentaries? His voice is as smooth as silk and lulls listeners into a calm, comfortable state of mind suited for learning new facts about penguins
Unfortunately for the rest of us cinemagoers, it is not Attenborough who will be narrating our movies for us, but rather an untalented wannabe with a grating voice
A close relative of the conversationalist, the narrator is sometimes coupled with the confused partner, who somehow got lost along the way somewhere in the plot
While it is not a crime to explain complicated plot details of a movie to a confused friend, there is a time and place for that
And that time and place is not in the cinema when the film is still playing
3. The irresponsible parentThere are great mysteries that have yet to be unravelled by us mortals
Is there a divine power? Does the soul exist? Where do we go after death? Why do parents bring their underaged children to watch films they obviously would not understand
Bringing a child to the theatre is not wrong per se; after all, children’s films cater to the younger demographic
However, there is a slight problem when a parent brings their child to watch a film meant for older audiences, and the bored child decides to be louder than the film or walks back and forth aimlessly in front of the screen
Seriously, parents, hiring a babysitter is an option. Either leave the kids at home or don’t go to the theatre at all
4. The chair kicker/seat shakerLike aeroplanes, leg space in movie theatres can be quite the luxury
However, it does not give any excuse to those living, breathing annoyances who constantly shift in their seats and keep kneeing the backs of the seats before them
And there is also an alternative to the chair kicker, the seat shaker
Instead of annoying the person sitting in front of them, they irritate those sitting in the same, shared row of seats
Shaking legs and constant tossing and turning will earn you no small number of dirty looks coming from the people sitting in the row, so stop doing it
5. The handphone addictEven now, despite the public service announcements politely informing cinemagoers to turn off their mobile phones before the movie starts, ringtones still blare out on occasion
Is it sincerely that hard to switch a handphone to silent mode
Even when expecting a call, it is not necessary to have one’s ringtone active when violent vibrations will do the job
The even more annoying variant is the bored cinemagoer who gets more entertainment value out of their mobile phones than the movie they paid money to watch
What exactly is the point of staying bored in the theatre, fidgeting with one’s phone
6. The clown carEver seen a clown car act? It is a circus performance routine where an absurd number of clowns emerge from a car seemingly too small to hold them all
Why go to the circus when you can catch it in Malaysian theatres
Folks with clearly too tight a grip on their purses sometimes bundle more than one person, normally children, onto a single seat, likely resulting in seat kicking
A smutty variant emerges when two lovebirds decide to get a little too intimate
We are supposed to bring children to the theatre, not make them there
7. The shameless recalcitrantThe worst of the lot, this is the person who does all of the above and is unashamed when called out
They will choose to ignore the hushing and polite demands from others to stop their misbehaviour
Without shame, they may even decide to go the extra mile by arguing with the people calling them out
One can only wonder what sort of person they are in life, if they cannot even behave properly in a movie theatre for just two hours. - FMT

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