That B Tch Is A Genius Why My Inner Feminist Dreams Of A Sponsored Life

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You know, people often ask me, "Suzlin, do you ever feel envy?" And honestly, my gut reaction is always a resounding Nope, not really. But then, my brain, being the overthinker it is, starts running through a mental highlight reel, and a tiny, mischievous voice whispers, "Well, tapiiiiiii tapiii —"
And that's where the story gets interesting, especially when I consider the "M" word: Marriage.
Now, hold on a second. Before you conjure up images of white dresses, rose petals, and garden theme venue Pulai Spring Resorts, let me tell you, my current fantasy marriage isn't about grand romance. It's about outsourcing. Pure and simple. I'm just… tired. Tired of being the CEO, COO, CFO, and Chief Snack Officer of my entire life (and family!).
Remember back in the day, when the world cheered, "You can have it all!" And we, ya kita, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ambitious, genuinely believed "all" meant a fulfilling career and a beautiful family? 
Well, let me tell you, as someone currently living the "all" life, sometimes it feels less like "having it all" and more like "doing it all," plus an extra sprinkle of "oh-my-gosh-I-forgot-to-pack-lunch-again or alamak-lupa-bagi-kid-duit-belanja-sekolah or lupa-beli-barang-project or PSV-anak,".
It's like we bought into this grand, sparkly illusion that true contentment hinges solely on these two big checkboxes. Absolute delulu! This whole "everything" narrative? Total hoax. 
My plate? Overflowing. My energy levels? Running on fumes, a prayer, and about a gallon of coffee. Sleep? What's sleep? But hey, I chose this path, right? Life must go on. Push till the limit, till I drop, apparently.
The Genius of the "Retired" FriendThen, I see her. My "friend." No visible job, casually grocery shopping on a Tuesday afternoon. Her hair? Perfectly coiffed with all the latest highlights. Mani-pedi fresh, looking utterly relaxed, probably heading for a massage. Then, back home to whip up a gourmet meal, maybe bake something divine for her social media status, then off to coffee shop, with a glistening ring 💍 on her left hand.
And I look at a woman like that, truly, and a part of me thinks, "Damn, that bitch is a genius. She's not a housewife, she's retired!"
And here's where my inner rebel starts its rant. Sometimes, I swear feminism – as empowering as it has been – played a little trick on us. Back in the day, our grandmothers had a "job" that was, well, no job. They could have kept up the charade for another century, couldn't they? Just kept saying, "Oh, we're just delicate little flowers, too simple to handle anything more complex than eating snacks and watching Netflix all day." Think about it: a free day, unscheduled, unsupervised, and most importantly, sponsored! Pure genius, I tell you.
Imagine their daily life: no soul-crushing commutes, no endless meetings, no dealing with office politics and those people. They got to enjoy baking, cooking a proper, home-cooked meal instead of another sad desk lunch. It's truly a masterclass in living!
Feminism = OverratedHonestly, sometimes I think feminism, while empowering us with so many options, also got us into this pickle where we're now expected to work. When I hear the phrase "double-income household," a little piece of me wants to throw up. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate my independence, but sometimes, I just crave that delicious freedom.
And you know what? Food tastes so much shittier when you know you had to earn it! Like, why can’t someone just bring me a bunch of fruit (other than bananas, please! 😏) and magically figure out what's for dinner every single night? Seriously, if I had a loving, devoted "wife" by my side, imagine how much more successful I could be kan? My life would be so much easier.
So, paradoxically, I don't want to get married in the traditional sense. I want a partner in crime who handles the domestic everything so I can truly soar in my own pursuits.
Redefining "Having It All" So, what’s my point in all this? Don't get me wrong. It's not about abandoning our careers or rewriting history. It's simply about acknowledging that sometimes, the grass is genuinely greener on the side where there are more naps and zero commutes. It's about realizing that our definition of "having it all" desperately needs an upgrade – one that includes not just equal pay, but also equal pleasure.
We, as women and especially as working moms, deserve more than just endless juggling. We deserve genuine joy, ample free time, and yes, maybe even someone to magically ensure the dishes are always clean and put away for us. Because ultimately, "having it all" should feel like a celebration of life, not a never-ending to-do list.

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