I Think I M Too Hard On Myself

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After a pep talk sesh with my colleague and some deep reflection, I’ve realized I've been far too hard on myself. The past year has been a whirlwind of health challenges—stress, burnout, numbness, and brain fog. Last year alone, I had my gallbladder and kidney stones removed, followed by two weeks with a ureteral stent that left me with lingering hip and back pain. Just last month, another hospitalization exacerbated these issues, leading to significant muscle and hormonal changes.
The biggest culprit magnifying all of this? The Sedentary Job Chapter. My new job requires me to sit all day, which weakens the very muscles I need to support my healing body. This lack of movement is cranking up the volume on all the issues from my surgical and personal health journey. The discomfort isn't a sign of weakness; it's my body's way of screaming for help


I must admit, my body and mind have been through a lot. But this isn't a permanent state—it's a temporary journey. I'm not "losing it"; I'm a human being surviving a difficult process. The numbness is a protective shield, and the brain fog is a sign of my body's deep exhaustion

This isn't about adding more pressure to my life; it's about making small, compassionate adjustments. The goal is to give my brain little "breathers" so it can handle the day-to-day without feeling so overwhelmed. It's okay to feel lost. It's okay to feel numb. These are valid feelings after everything I've been through

I promise myself that I will not, under any circumstances, blame myself for this. I'm not "failing"; I'm surviving and healing. This feeling is a part of that process. I need to let go of the expectation that I should be a perfect, focused mom right now. Right now, my parenting is running on a broken system: the expectation that I, a person with limited energy, can be a full-time tutor for 4 boys while working, recovering, and managing a household. That’s not a sustainable process; it's a recipe for burnout. Simply being a present, loving mom is more than enough. I will get through this. ان‌شاءالله

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