I Don T Ban Books Or Movies From My Children

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I am not a big fan of classic Disney movies featuring fairy tale princesses like “Snow White”, “Sleeping Beauty”, “The Little Mermaid”, and the like.
I think it’s pretty obvious why. It’s because of Princess Syndrome, whereby all these main princess characters portray weak and reliant females who are helpless and need a man in the form of a prince charming to help them through life.
As a parent of three young children, I do not want ideals like this to influence my children and make them think that this is how things should be in the world. And as a parent, I feel like I have the authority and the ability to restrict them from being exposed to ideals like this.
What I can do is not allow them to watch any classic Disney movies like the ones I mentioned.
Disney has been doing better these days with movies like “Frozen”, “Tangled”, “Mulan”, “Moana”, etc. I think they realise their role in propagating the Princess Syndrome and are trying to make amends.
These new movies are great and my personal favourite is “Moana” because although the titular Moana is a girl, nowhere in the storyline does it even stress that she is a girl. She is just a protagonist who happens to be a girl.
They can make their own decisions
Anyway, back to the real question, which is how long can I keep enforcing this ban? Can I do it throughout their lives? Will I be able to stop them from ever coming into contact with these movies forever? Will I be able to control what other people say to them who might mention these movies? Will I be able to filter every website or social media account they visit that might expose them to these movies?
The answer is - it would be impossible. So, how then would I make sure that these ideals would not be influencing my children?
Well, that would also be impossible, because my children are their own persons and they have a mind of their own to decide on whatever they want to decide on. But of course, as a parent, we do wield some influence, as do other people they come into contact with.
The only thing I can do as a parent is to provide them with the right education, the proper ability to critically evaluate things and the sense and knowledge to make the right decisions.
Will they make the same evaluations and decisions as me? Maybe, maybe not. But we have to trust that what we have given them in the form of education is good enough to make them good people.
Open-minded discussions
As far as these classic Disney movies and Princess Syndrome go, I understand that I can’t put a total blanket ban on them watching these movies because they will be exposed to it somehow.
As soon as they reach an age where I feel they have better comprehension (approximately between the ages of five and seven), they get to watch these movies.
After we watched these movies, my wife and I would sit down with them and discuss what we saw. We would talk about the characters, the storyline, and things that the characters do and say, and we discussed what we liked, didn’t like, agreed or didn’t agree with.
So far, all three of my children whose ages range between 14 and six years old seem to be doing alright with these issues.
These discussions we have with movies (or really anything in general) are now a thing that we do as a family.
A year ago, my second daughter Alethea, who was eight years old at that time, asked me if she could watch the horror movie “Annabelle”.
Now, my wife Sheril and I knew that it might not be too suitable for a girl her age, but in the spirit of being open, we said yes and that she could watch it with me.
So Sheril, our eldest daughter Athena and youngest son Achilles went upstairs for the night to watch another movie (“Ms Congeniality”… ugh!) because they aren’t made for horror movies, while Alethea and I set up blankets and pillows in the downstairs living room in front of the television. We watched the movie and fell asleep in the living room till the morning.
Truth be told, Alethea found it hard to sleep by herself again in her room for several nights after that (which was hilarious because the very next day, we noticed that all her stuffed animals on her bed had been stuffed under her bed!).
So we spoke to her about how horror movies are not real, explained a little about how movies are made and that ghosts don’t exist and she was okay.
These days, Alethea is a fearless little girl who has no problems going into haunted houses at amusement parks and funfairs.
She also enjoys going camping and one of the most fun things she likes to do during our camping trips is to run around at night exploring with her torchlight.
But for some reason, she refused to watch “Annabelle: Creation”, the prequel to the first “Annabelle” movie when I asked her!
The government is not our parent
So in response to the six books being banned by the Home Ministry recently, obviously my opinion is that I do not agree with it.
The reason for the ban is said to be because they deemed it to be potentially detrimental to morality.
The statement also said: “At the same time, it aims to raise public awareness about publications that are undesirable and unsuitable for general readership”.
Banning books (or movies, etc) will never work in trying to enforce ideals, beliefs, and morality. Just like my children, people will still be exposed to these banned books and their ideas and opinions.
A ban is counterproductive and we should encourage discussion and discourse instead if we want to have a progressive society that isn’t susceptible to immorality and is more resilient.
Instead of banning the books, the ministry could create age classifications for books so that they can act as guidance for parents (and everyone else) to see what is suitable or not.
That’s usually what I use as a guide when allowing my children to watch movies or read books. Of course, I would have to go through the content myself too, but it isn’t to stop them from consuming it and instead, so I can engage with them.
I think the government needs to treat the people with more respect and dignity if they want a more mature society that will also treat the government with more respect and dignity.
If I may pull comparisons with my own little family, I am proud to say that my children come to me and my wife if they ever have anything they want to discuss (as far as we know!) and we are more than open to speak to them too.
However, with that being said, it’s also important to note that the government is not our parent and does not have that sort of authority over us as we are not children.
They should not be making decisions for us as that should fall into our own hands. We should be making the decisions for ourselves and electing a government that will execute the will of the people.
So I do hope that the government takes that into consideration and listens to the voices and opinions of the people. - Mkini
ZAN AZLEE is a writer, documentary filmmaker, journalist and academic. Visit fatbidin.com to view his work.
The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.

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