Heart Pumping Fast Blood Leaks

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#DearDiaryPost
It has been a while since the last time I write a dear-diary entry and talking nonsense in this space. Soooooo tonite I think I want to write one (because I want to remember this) Oh and yes, you can skip to read this post because it's really nothing (but everything to me :p)

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Finally today came. Today is the day that we promised to see each other for the first time after several months being closer eventho we already know each other since past 10 years. Oh God that was longgg! can we get married now?
I supposed to be there at 11am but it delayed as I need to settle a few things at home before going out. So, I arrived at the parking lot at 12.10pm and he arrived at 1230pm grrrr!! Why are youuuuuuuuuuuuuu coming lateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Ikut plan, we supposed to go to Tasik Pepsi Blue first but as the day was so hot, so I decided to cancel the plan...................and now seriously.......i regretted it *hentak kepala kat dinding* can we go next time pleaseeeeee? 😀 - if and only if there's a next time
As his car arrived next to my car, I was so freaking nervous.  Now tell me,
How.am.I.going.to.enter.his.car??
Can someone just teleport me there


Malu siot. I just sat down in my car for a few more minutes evntho at that time I already turn off my car's engine and so the air-cond. I can felt my heart pumped the blood faster than usual and I got not idea what is wrong with it. Buuuuuuuuuuuuut seriously tell me, how am I going to drag my feet out and in to his car. Bismillahirahmanirahim satu dua tiga, pull the door handle, Assalamualaikum, senyum.
Honestly, I didnt have bold to look at his eyes. 
Can. I. just. go. out. again

Then kiteorang decide untuk terus pergi makan tengahari dan waktu tu baru lah aku perasan yang aku tak makan sarapan lagi as I was so buzy settle things down or maybe I dont realize I didnt take my breakfast because im nervous? Or did i ex.....cited to see him? hmm sorry I cant decide ;p
So kiteorang gerak pergi makan boat noodle. Then gerak pergi pantai, then gerak pergi Warung Pok Nong tapi kedainya penuh and as I dont want to waste a lot of time queing for hmm idk, food that I think I can get it at diff place, so we moved to diff stall. Jumpa next time Pok Nong

Im glad today was going smoothly except for one thing!! Hahahaha. I was on the first day of period, and i didnt realize my blood leaked out from my pant to the car's seat.  A MAN'S CAR. Can you believe that? The thing is, I didnt feel any moist or sakit perut except for I want to pee, and as I getting up to go out of the car I checked my seat and oh.....mai.....gaddddd. There was a lot of blood! Did my heart pumping so hard until my blood veins cant even support it and it needed to find its way ouuttttt? I was so embarrassed Hahahahahahaha I dont know what he gonna think but one thing for sure, I need to cover this before he look. Lucky I brought an extra bag and acted quickly. 
Hid my red face behind my poker face ;p
Overall, it was a good short catch up and I hope I could hear a good thing from you. Sorry if I'm not being as sweet as a "girl-friend" should be because honestly, I'm still afraid to deeply fall in love. 
So, I hope today is one of the days that you will remember & treasure ❤️

♫ Some nerve you haveTo break up my lonelyAnd tell me you want meHow dare you march into my heart?Oh, how rude of youTo ruin my miserableAnd tell me I'm beautiful'Cause I wasn't looking for love, noNobody asked you to get me attached to youIn fact you tricked meAnd I wasn't trying to fall in love but, boy, you pushed meSo all that I'm askingIs that you handle me with caution'Cause I don't give myself oftenBut I guess I'll try today'Cause I've had my heartBroken beforeAnd I promised I would never let me hurt anymoreBut I tore down my wallsAnd opened my doorsAnd made room for oneSo, baby, I'm yours ♫



25 Nov 2018Till then, xoxo.

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