He Proposed

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"IS HE THE ONE?"

"What is he is not my destiny?" "What if I will get heart broken again after this?" "What is he's not mean to me?"
These kind of questions hit my head like a thousand of times - a day.Can you help meeeeeeeee? I donoooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.I'm so bad at making decision.But I know, No one ever can help me.

If there is before I dont believe people say women are complicated, but now I think I have to believe. 
It has been 3 weeks since my mind is so serabut.Honestly, I'm suck at making decision. And it has been 3 weeks now, I should come out with the one solid decision! 

If someone suddenly be close with you for several months,(in fact - i knew him for 9 years ago)Suddenly proposed you to marry him.
"Sanggup x awk susah senang sama-sama sy?"

What.should.you.answer?
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I remembered since the first day he wanted to befriend with me, (Finally aku replied after a few attemps he dm in fb messeger)I was thinking for a while at that time- should I reply or should I ignore?But there was a positive thought in my mind at that time. I was slightly moved by his action & bold. How could you keep waving at someone who didnt even reply your chat? I think - what if he is the one? He has been there waiting for my reply since years.Dah masa nya kot aku buka balik hati aku balik. Kata dah move on? Kah
Aku terus buat solat istikarah lepas tu hahaha tapi bukan sebab desperate to get married, im just want to be be extra careful and firm to myself. Mamat yang sama kot dm kau since a few years back. Setahun aku tutup pintu hati, tapi dia dm lagi.What if he is the answer for my prayer?Aku doa mintak Tuhan tunjuk, if he is not the one, aku taknak kawan dah,hahahahaha sombong kan? tapi, tak bagi aku. Better to prevent, sebelum melalut lalut, I'm the one who will turn out become worse.

Time flies, we got closer, and one night, selepas first time kiteorang balik from taaruf session, so are you serious with me? Kalau tak, aku nak end everything here- maksudnya bukan putus kawan, tapi dah tak perlu kot to know each other deeper, aku dah taknak keep contact everyday.
He replied, "awak igt sy main-main ke? dari awal lagi sy serious..."Glup.
And thing goes on. I met his mum, he met my family. Eveything goes smoothly.
One month left before our engagement and now my head keeps questioning, 
"Is he the one means to me?"
He has a few things that I dream of - and a few things that I dislike,but I cant be selfish, nobody is perfect.
Now, I think I should stop thinking of unsure question lingers in my head,
because what I'm sure of now, it's not that "he is the one", it's because it's me who is afraid to make a decision because I'm keep thinking about negative things.semoga semua yang was-was tu semua dari setan.
"Am I ready?
Hello, 2019,time to start accepting the reality with open heart & arm!

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