Expecting The Unexpected When Your Child Start Schooling

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THE new school year is here. To parents whose children had started school, congratulations. Your child is in a new stage in their life and could not have done it without your love and support.
The road is long and the need for support will grow as the child grows. Now they are starting with a blank canvas. School life provides the colours for them to start painting their life journey.
When a new school year starts, focus is often on the child, the student. Children being young are better at coping with new situations than adults.
Often it is the adults who are more affected by the transition even with the best preparations. What can one expect when their child starts school?
A great many things I was told. Logistically there’s the daily school run. Academically it’s the school work or for some adults who make it into their own work.
In all the hustle and bustle there’s one thing that parents least expect, Whatsapp groups! Many parents sigh on how many groups that they are added to.
On the first day some may already find themselves in three groups and receive more than a dozen messages. That’s only on Day One.
Why are there so many groups? Despite emails or learning portals, Whatsapp is still the favourite way to communicate by schools and parents.
There could be a Whatsapp group for the child’s class, one for the classes in the same year and another for the parent teacher association (PIBG).
With Whatsapp Communities it’s becoming more organised but hardly manageable for most.
Whatsapp groups: from an announcement board to a discussion forum
Back in the days before Whatsapp, smartphones and email, any school announcement, reminders or letters were printed and distributed to each student.
It was never a problem for the school to communicate with parents this way. It was a one-way communication from the school to the parents and guardians.
You do hear the occasional tale of crumpled letters at the bottom of the schoolbag or a child losing the letter and never to be heard from again. Then again those were the times.
In the present day, there are Whatsapp messages for any situation. It could be a reminder to bring water colours for art class or consent letters for school trips and activities.
Then there are the messages on what to wear on a particular day. There’s always something to pay, something to do, something to bring to school.
A parent can feel it is being pointless and soul destroying from the drip feed of information. Setting the groups in silent may backfire.
Some announcements like try-outs for competitions are posted on Whatsapp groups with registration on a first come first served basis.
This may lead to a fear of missing out something; fear the child misses out from a life changing opportunity.
There comes a point where constant demands and reminders become unbearable. Late announcements become sloppy last-minute work.
When PIBG requests turn to badgering, it is a situation many could not ignore. The difference is most groups allow parents to post messages.
It has now become a two-way communication, a social media platform. What started out as a tool to flagging up important tasks or information has become a town hall where opinions and concerns are voiced out.
Entering an online world of drama 
Something special is happening in schools around the country right now. Before you can say ‘teh tarik kurang manis’ that moment is posted on Whatsapp groups and some making their way to other social media platforms.
Many happy and cheerful moments during the first week of school get captured. The posts are mostly from adults with contributions from kids not far behind.
Although children need to be 13 years old or older to register, the age requirement didn’t stop them from opening up an account.
This issue deserves a separate discussion. Among the happy posts there are those with darker experiences that get shared by students, parents and even teachers.
These vary from bullying, shouting matches, physical altercation or just outright bad behaviour. Talking about bad behaviour, there can be provocations and downright insults traded in public, online of course.
A reasonable person would typically stay clear of dramas, but some posts and stories are just too captivating to be ignored.
Like a reality show, there are many who watch rather than take part, and some in the audience are children.
The same innocent children had just started their school life. Adults could appreciate that some are funnier, vocal or more open online, sometimes much more than in person.
They could be projecting a better version of themselves or only with themselves making Whatsapp groups sort of a constant companion.
Need to build trust in the community
Modern societies tend to be distant in what sociologist Anthony Giddens call distanciation. When information on social interactions becomes opaque there is greater need for trust.
Education institutions as centres of learning would benefit much when there’s trust amongst its stakeholders, the students, parents, teachers and administrators.
Interaction we have now has taken us to virtual space, to places like Whatsapp groups. Perhaps all of us can gain much by behaving ethically in our virtual interaction.
Only then could we build a sense of community, a sense of shared life that is necessary for learning to happen. 
Fareen Ali is the Head of Training, Universiti Malaya Centre of Leadership and Professional Development
The views expressed are solely of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of  MMKtT.
- Focus Malaysia.

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