Children Of The Cane Reflections From A Bad Kid

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After a recent fatal stabbing and several sexual crimes involving teenagers, concerned parents, teachers, and citizens at large have once again advocated bringing back the cane to instil discipline among children.
This is nothing new. “Spare the rod, spoil the child” would ring out in spaces of public discourse every time a spate of crimes involving minors grabs the headlines.
Most of these comments would say something along the lines of “the current generation of children is too spoiled, we were caned as children and never had such issues.”
Even Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim had expressed his personal approval of bringing back caning in schools, albeit with strict conditions.
On the surface, this may seem logical, obvious even. If children are punished for offences, they’ll keep on the straight and narrow and grow up to be good human beings.
However, this might be a simplistic view of education and how children learn.
Much like installing metal detectors to prevent weapons from being smuggled into schools and stepping up police presence at educational institutions to prevent crime, it may address the symptoms but not the cause.
I’m no expert and I do not claim to have all the answers. All I can offer is my personal experience as a “problem child” with disciplinary and academic issues - all the way from primary school, secondary school, and several years into university.
Struggles of an average kid
Throughout primary and secondary school, I struggled with my studies except for certain subjects that I was interested in or which had passionate teachers. Overall, my results were barely above a failing grade.
I was socially awkward, didn’t have many friends, and was terrible with girls. I never really fit in and mostly hung out with a group of oddballs, which included other “problem children”.
We were never truly delinquents, but between a bunch of kids who stuck out like sore thumbs almost everywhere, we found kinship.
We played lots of basketball together, sometimes we skipped school to play video games at cybercafes (and almost got swept up by police in a raid), some of us smoked (I tried, but it didn’t stick), and when we got our driving licences, we sped up and down Hulu Langat and Genting.
Looking back with adult eyes, we qualified as “at-risk children” who would have been easily led astray if we had come across unsavoury characters. If the rumours were true, some among us did.
‘Lazy, undisciplined’
My parents and teachers agonised over how they could see potential in me, but I was too “lazy and undisciplined”.
Throughout all those years, I was frequently caned by my parents and teachers, among other disciplinary measures, to teach me a lesson, I suppose.
I did learn something from being caned, but not what they wanted me to. All I ever gleaned from my punishments was to fear the cane, that respect was earned through fear, and that whoever held the cane was powerful because they were feared.
It also taught me that lying to cover up my misdeeds was preferable to getting caned, which inevitably got me into even more trouble when the truth was out, and that beating others (violence) was acceptable, or even encouraged, for the “right” reasons.
In the meantime, “traditional Asian values” - learned through society, community, and pop culture - taught me that emotions were unmanly, unless I was boiling over with rage. That was expected of manly men.
So, when I, an emotionally stunted and angry young adult, was tasked to babysit my toddler cousins, I caned them too.
Watched TV for too long? Cane. Refused to eat their meals? Cane. Not taking their afternoon naps? Cane.
I answered all manner of misbehaviour with the “righteous fury of the cane”, and I felt powerful because they feared the cane in my hand. They feared me.
And why not? I was caned when I was growing up. I didn’t turn out too badly, or so I thought.
It was only years later, when I realised that I have anger management issues and began a journey of deep introspection, that it dawned on me that when I caned my cousins, I was intoxicated with power, power which I wielded against children. The thought made me sick.
Cycle of caning
Make no mistake, I lay no blame on my parents and teachers. They raised me the only way they knew how, for they were also children of the cane.
All things considered, my needs were well taken care of and I had a blessed childhood. That’s more than what many people could say.
But here’s the thing. My parents had told me on several occasions that they were subjected to worse corporal punishments as children, and my siblings and I had it easy.
It meant that, on some level, they knew that beating children was wrong, even if it was a matter of discipline, and they did not have the heart to subject us to the same treatment as their parents did with them.
Besides, the cane never worked on me, my friends, and the other “problem children” I’ve met. I eventually turned my life around during my later university years, but it was not the cane that brought me back.
Take a good look at our political leaders as well; most of them probably grew up with the threat of corporal punishment hanging over them and were punished for stepping out of line.
Do you think they learned the “correct” lesson? Or were they, like me, also intoxicated by their first taste of power and learned to abuse it?
Once again, I don’t claim to have all the answers. But why are we, as a society, advocating for the continuation of this generational cycle of abuse when its effectiveness is doubtful?
Isn’t it time we try something else? - Mkini
LEE CHOON FAI is a member of the Malaysiakini team.

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