Stop The Hurt First Apologise Later Mentality

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There was a time in Malaysia when saying sorry was the hardest thing to do. Many refused to apologise for blatant wrongdoings while some politicians and public figures always said it with a big “if.” Like saying “If I had hurt you, I am sorry because I didn’t mean it that way.”
But of late, the apologies seem to be free-flowing, especially from politicians. I guess this is fine considering it will, to a certain extent, be a kind of balm to ease the pain of those hurt by careless utterings.
But what about thinking a few times before you spew verbal venom or post stuff in social media that you pretty well know is likely to hurt others? It may help a little by saying sorry but the hurt lingers on, especially when some offenders are totally unrepentant despite the backlash.

Take for example the case of national badminton player S Kisona, who was subject to some racist humiliation by Bersatu politician Borhanuddin Che Rahim, as soon as she lost her singles match to a Japanese player.
He quickly removed his online comment after he was lambasted by netizens of all races but it was a little too late as the post was captured and viralled.
Two days later, after being scolded as “stupid and dumb” by the youth and sports minister Ahmad Faizul Azumu, who happens to be his party’s deputy president, and being crucified on social media, he apologised.
He is said to have offered his resignation from his party but we have not heard of any such action so far.
It hurt the 23-year-old Kisona so badly that she broke down on Oct 8 when reporters asked her if she had gotten over the ugly episode. So you see, racism intended or otherwise can cause much trauma, and depending on the strength of an individual, it can have a lifelong impact on some.
But Borhanuddin’s reasons for using the hurtful words still bewilder me. He claims that the people from his state of Kelantan use the derogatory word to refer to the Indian community and that he did not utter it with any contempt.
But the way he had structured his sentence does imply a contemptuous regard for the community, indicating a deep-seated racism that tends to surface occasionally among many Malaysians across the board. People of all races are guilty of such actions.
Soon after that came preacher Ustaz Syakir Nasoha, who allegedly defamed non-Muslim religions in a viral video.
He clarified that the 2017 video clip had been taken out of context saying it was meant for Muslims and not for others. He also said he was merely preaching what is contained in the holy books. Obviously he played to the gallery but he did not apologise.
In this case, the preacher may be incapable of realising that he has done wrong or acknowledge his wrong and therefore, see the need to apologise.
In some cases, like that of Burhanuddin, an immediate apology which is perceived to be sincere can help defuse an otherwise explosive situation but it is hard to know whether there is self–realisation on the part of the person who has done the wrong when saying sorry.
These are just two examples that stand out in a plethora of racial and religious insults that are uttered by Malaysians every other day. So how do we make Malaysians stop for a moment and think a few times before they post such insults on social media?
Let’s call a spade a spade. Systemic racism is a persistent reality in Malaysia, preventing many from fully participating in society and denying them equal rights, freedom, respect and dignity. The existing laws are obviously not enough to stop some Malaysians from uttering racial rants.
An anti-racism act that contains a glossary of terms banned for general use may be an answer. Yes, it does sound a little harsh but Malaysians have proven time and again that they cannot be trusted to use their discretion here.
Even Dr Mahathir Mohamad carelessly used a derogatory word in April 2018, a month before the general election. Initially he refused to apologise saying it was the norm to use that word on Indians but backtracked as the general election was approaching, saying he never meant to insult anyone.
So the case of Kisona cannot be treated as an isolated incident and I bet it will also not be the last. In some cases, racism escapes from the cage deep inside one’s heart inadvertently. If we have a law which bars the use of certain racially derogatory words, it will certainly stop many Malaysians.
Systemic racism is often caused by policies, practices and procedures that appear neutral but have the effect of disadvantaging racialised groups. It can be perpetuated by a failure to identify and monitor racial disparities and inequities and to take remedial action.
One thing’s for sure, Prime Minister Ismail Sabri Yaakob’s “Keluarga Malaysia” will be blown to smithereens by actions such as this. Only an Anti-Racism Act passed unanimously in Parliament with no abstentions can drive home the message that no one should tolerate racism. - FMT 
The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.

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