Mean Girls At Work

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Let’s talk about something that’s way too common in the workplace: mean girl cliques. You know the ones I’m talking about. These are the groups that bond tightly, and if you're not in their inner circle, particularly if you resist gossiping, being unkind, or engaging in their activities, you're likely to be targeted. Why? This happens because you represent the opposite of what they stand for.

These cliques can be made up of anyone from regular employees to people in charge. And they can be downright toxic. They gossip, they exclude people, and they make life miserable for anyone who doesn’t kiss their butts.

The Psychology Behind Mean Girl BehaviorInitially, we might justify the behavior and strive for empathy. However, when it happens repeatedly, it's important to remain fair and rational. Ultimately, seeking closure or questioning why they acted in such a way becomes pointless. Mean girl behavior is often rooted in insecurities, a need for control, and a desire for social dominance. They see you as a competitor. They can be extremely jealous if someone gets promoted, and then be tempted to put their "enemy" down. These individuals may use aggression, manipulation, and exclusion to maintain their position within the group. Factors like low self-esteem, fear of rejection, and a lack of empathy can also contribute to this behavior.

These women are masters of manipulation - a lot of the things that they do are very sneaky because they're not technically, like illegal per se, but they'll make you feel small, stupid, and like you can’t do anything right; incapable. It’s like emotional warfare, and it’s exhausting. It's a constant battle, that can take a serious toll on your mental and physical health. It's never going to be good enough for these people. They will always have something to say about it. Always have a nasty comeback, always have an attitude problem, it also a lot of gas lighting that goes along with it of course together with pretentious drama.If everyone avoids them, it's usually for good reason. You might be accused of being the one who's turning people against them, even if you're just trying to keep your distance. It's a tough position to be in. You try to ignore it at first, focusing on your work, but it can be hard to maintain a professional front when the situation escalates. Sometimes, it even reaches upper management, and you end up looking like the problem.

It’s even worse when HR is in on it. I’ve seen HR people become best buddies with these mean girls, and it's like trying to get help from the enemy. Instead of protecting employees, they become part of the problem. It's like having no safe place to turn. It’s frustrating and can make you feel completely alone. I have seen it, it makes people super sick, trying to get out of those situations and get another job.

Coping Strategies for Individuals
So, what can we do about it? Let's admit this is a real problem and it’s not okay. It’s time to shine a light on this issue and start talking about solutions. We can’t let these mean girl cliques continue to ruin workplaces. Coping with mean girl cliques can be challenging, but there are strategies to build resilience and protect one's well-being:

1. Building Resilience
Developing a strong sense of self-worth and self-confidence can help individuals withstand the negativity. Focusing on personal and professional growth can also boost resilience.

2. Setting Boundaries
Establishing clear boundaries is essential. This involves saying "no" to unreasonable demands, avoiding gossip, and limiting interactions with toxic individuals.

3. Seeking Support
Talking to trusted friends, family, or a therapist can provide emotional support. Joining support groups or seeking professional counseling can also be helpful.

4. Documenting Incidents
Keeping a record of incidents can be valuable if legal action becomes necessary. This documentation should include dates, times, and specific details of the behavior.

5. Legal Implications
While mean girl behavior can be emotionally devastating, it may not always constitute illegal workplace bullying. However, if the behavior creates a hostile work environment, interferes with an employee's job performance, or results in adverse employment actions, it could be grounds for legal action. That's what Industrial Court of Malaysia for after all. For more info, log on to their website or just give them a call. Everything can be done online nowadays.

Dealing with a mean girl at work can be challenging, but you're not alone. In my experience with different workplaces, unfortunately, two exhibited a toxic culture. In such cases, the HR departments worsened the issue by showing favoritism towards certain groups, neglecting the well-being of the overall workforce. It's a relief that this is now in the past. Feel free to share your experiences in the comments. It's important to remember that it's okay to not be okay at times. Prioritizing your mental health is crucial. Let's support one another

Disclaimer: This blog post is based on personal experiences and observations. Not all women engage in negative behavior, and numerous workplaces foster a positive and supportive atmosphere. 

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