4 8m Reasons Why Tuan Ibrahim Is A Terrible Matchmaker

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The latest bombshell from the opposition benches is for the government to legislate for romantic relationships between married men and unattached ladies.
Shocked that 4.8 million women aged 30 years and above were unmarried, PAS’ Kubang Kerian MP Tuan Ibrahim Tuan Man has nevertheless found an “exit strategy” for them to get hitched.
Is the opposition bankrupt of ideas when debating Budget 2024 at the ministerial committee stage? There are huge issues of national importance worthy of debate instead of exchanging views on the status of the single woman, or a man’s desire to marry another woman.
What is the official Madani administration’s response when he said that “many from the other side (government bench) will agree with me on this”?
How many men rejected his idea? How many women shared his view?
Does Tuan Ibrahim realise he is condoning the break-up of an already established family?
Each time a woman decides to marry a man who is already married, the children and the mother of his children are thrown into an unhappy confused state, and an unstable, possibly uncertain future.
Money for the existing family may be reduced, to provide for the latest wife who may also wish to start her own family. Tuan Ibrahim should try and put himself in the shoes of the ‘number one’ wife, or any of her children.
Moreover, why should men with voracious sexual appetites decide the future of the 4.8 million unmarried ladies? The unmarried woman who wants to focus on her career and be financially independent should be allowed to chart her future path.
Toying with idea
Trying to manage one energetic wife, who has a penchant for retail therapy can be more than a handful, as one former prime minister has found out to his cost.
Tuan Ibrahim claimed that polygamy was one solution to reduce the number of unmarried women in Malaysia. He toyed with the idea that “moral support should be given to those with the capability and eligibility to enter polygamy and who can be fair (in marriage).”
He said it was “just an idea for the government to consider in finding an answer (to the problem)”.
Has he asked the millions of abandoned wives, divorced women, and single mothers for their views on his brainwave?
Their initial response would probably be to give the polygamous men a good telling off for not being faithful to their wives and for not providing the necessary alimony and child maintenance to their ex-wives.
Their second response would be to provide financial support for abandoned wives and single mothers.
The third would be to ban polygamy because, all this while, the men have used loopholes in the syariah law to circumvent the rules for taking on second, or subsequent wives. Some would lie about the first wife permitting them to take on a second wife.
Others arrange with friends to use their home address in a state which is more relaxed about polygamous marriages. Many simply travel to Thailand to get married and, on their return, pay the pitiful fine of a few thousand ringgit to ‘legitimise’ their unlawful marriage in Hat Yai.
The fourth response would probably be for the government to speed up legislation concerning syariah law enforcement to provide justice to the abandoned wives. Many abandoned and divorced women have admitted to giving up on the Syariah Court system to provide them justice.
The courts took too long to resolve their dilemma. They were too lax in making the husbands cough up the money for child maintenance or alimony. Each unsuccessful court trip costs them money, as their lawyers are not free.
The fifth response could probably be that if polygamy cannot for some daft reason be banned, then it should at least be standardised throughout Malaysia.
Some states are strict about husbands attempting to have multiple wives, while others are completely relaxed about it.
Is Tuan Ibrahim aware of the suffering of the ex-wives? Do his peers, including the women MPs in PAS, realise that many divorced or single mothers live a hand-to-mouth existence, with no support from their ex-husbands, nor help from the state?
How many men can rightly claim to be “fair” in a polygamous marriage? A husband may consider himself being ‘fair’ to one wife, but another wife, especially wife number one, may think he is showing favouritism to the youngest wife.
Stop competing in 2R race
The Parliament is full of politicians from both sides of the political divide who try to outdo one another in the 2R (race and religion) race.
A few politicians will oversee the conversion of non-Muslims to Islam. Some politicians claim to be genealogy experts and can trace the lineage of many prominent Chinese families.
Others specialise in the creation of the perfect syariah-compliant clothing for nurses, cabin crew, and female athletes; but the latest boy wonder must be the politician-cum-matchmaker.
Will Parliament realise that the rakyat has had enough of clueless conservative clerics who are wannabe politicians, politicians who are wannabe clerics, and lately, conservative clerics who are wannabe matchmakers?
Our politicians have failed to put aside their selfish interests to start considering the rakyat’s wishes for once.
The competition to win Muslim hearts and minds should stop before more damage is done to the Malay psyche. - Mkini
MARIAM MOKHTAR is a defender of the truth, the admiral-general of the Green Bean Army, and the president of the Perak Liberation Organisation (PLO). Blog, Twitter.
The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.

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